January 3. 2013

 I am with the love of my life… is it me that I am unhappy with or is it him? 

I can’t decide if being in a relationship is right for me or if it isn’t. 

He is free as a bird…. while I’m stuck here in the biggest rut of my life. It’s painful to see him able to do, and DOING, all the things I can only dream of doing. All the things I truly want to do seem to be so far out of my reach it’s unfair. How can my past which I am trying to let go of dictate my present like this? I want access to a time machine just so I can go back and sucker-punch myself in the face. 

I wish I had some sort of direction. This is absolutely killing me.