Tonight

I think I will sleep much better tonight. I’ve spent the entire evening listening to music. Mostly Dan Hill 😊 and all kinds of songs from the 80s and early 90s. It’s strange how music has a way of opening up all kinds of emotions I normally try not to feel. I suppose just living on the surface and not feeling the full depths of emotion eventually catches up with me. I just feel like I feel everything all at once now. All good feelings, just long supressed.

I know I basically rely on humor and work to feel alive. But feeling deeper feelings like I am tonight is therapeutic. I guess I didn’t realize how much I’ve kind of sealed up my heart for quite a while. I usually get all my emotions out in my novels.

Focusing on work is easier. However one-dimensional that may be. I suppose I have that non-existent ghost to thank for my mood tonight. Very little sleep last night led to this ghost-hangover and physically tired state which makes it easier to be emotional I guess.

But just feeling how I am right now, oddly vulnerable gives me a weird kind of confidence. I don’t doubt myself tonight. I don’t feel incapable of anything. I feel this confidence that I haven’t felt in a long time. I can’t explain it.

I’ll probably listen to music for another hour or so and then try to sleep. Music is the most precious thing artists can give to people, and that people can give to each other. Music can heal the world and our hearts. I honestly believe that.