This weekend I was reminded that often times the platonic loves in our lives are the most fulfilling. I have been having a rough go lately and every single one of my friends has rallied around me. They don’t miss a day of checking in on me, they make plans with me to keep my mind busy, they let me cry and vent, they encourage me to move on, and they support me when I find that hard to do. These humans have loved me on every single bad day and celebrated me on the good and I am forever in their debt. I have never had a good healthy romantic relationship but because of them I know what true love looks and feels like. I know my worth and know to never settle for less than I deserve because of them. I have never needed a man to feel whole but the constant rejection does trigger a sadness inside of me. But I sometimes have failed to remember the relationships I am already surrounded with in my life. I already have humans that would drop everything to be there for me. They are the family I have chosen for myself and truly all I need in this life. They make me laugh until I can’t breathe and they wipe my tears as they fall down my cheeks.
My nieces have helped breathe life back into me as well. They are so tiny and innocent but they love me so fiercely that I can not help but to also love myself. I look at them and I know what they deserve out of this life and I am an example to them of what treatment they should put up with. Tiny humans really put so much into perspective for you. I don’t ever want them to feel the way that I do and it is my responsibility to set good examples for appropriate ways to be treated by someone. By not allowing myself to be treated poorly I am teaching them to not allow it either. I never thought I would be appreciative of children but here I am.
Right now I am feeling more gratitude than sadness and that is a step in the right direction.