TGIF

Whew! My God- this place is killing me! The minute I got home, all I could do was lay on my back, on the couch, my feet high in the hair, and read my book. Just take myself away to another place.

After who knows how long, I woke up with a gentle breeze coming through the open door and the setting sun shining in my face. I could see the view of the mountains and the overpass from where I lay, looking out off the front porch. For a breif second, I asked myself if I would miss that landscape, the massive expanse of rolling green Earth against the backdrop of clean mountain air. The whole sky was orange. The whole room was orange too, and glowing. My cat was next to my head on the foot rest of the couch. I was completely sunken in to the softness beneath me, and absorbed in the peacefulness of twilight.

My day is over. Here I am, and it feels so perfect. I simply laid there for a good 10 minutes, staring out the door and the front windows, all of which I had opened to let the air and sunlight in. My whole being sighed. For those 10 minutes my body was not in pain, my head was not spinning, and my blood was not cursing through my veins at a million miles an hour. No one was asking for my attention. No one was watching what I was doing. No one needed me or cared where I was. Fuck my cell phone–fuck everyone I haven’t talked to in days, or weeks. Fuck Paul and his constant analyzation of by treatment of him. His constant demands and questions. Its just me, and my cat. And I’m NOT getting up for anything. A plane could crash in my front yard and I would call out, "go away! no ones home here!"

I still feel some small sense of that peace I felt hours ago, but that could just be the lortab talking. Today is my Friday, and it couldn’t come at a better time.