[7 Weeks] Those first 6 weeks
As sad as I am that Adelaide is growing so much every single day, I have to say…I’m so glad the first 6 weeks are behind us. She is still technically considered a newborn until 3 months, but I really feel like the "newborn" days are behind us, and it’s something I am so happy about.
Nobody really tells you what those first few weeks are really like. Someone on a forum pointed me to this blog post and particularly the comments, when I was a few weeks postpartum, and I read it feeling so relieved that other people felt the way I did. Some of my favorites:
"We refer to it as the "blind naked mole rat" phase."
"A little leech or maybe a slug – a darling, beloved little slug, but still – who wants to live with someone who’s incredibly demanding yet doesn’t DO anything? Worst kind of housemate imaginable."
"I’m totally a yes this sucks-er. I feel like all the preparation I did DID NOT prepare me for those early weeks, mostly because it wasn’t the baby that felt like a wild animal, but me. I was not prepared to face nature so brutally."
"a) Wild animal for sure. Not in the clawing-you-to-pieces sense (though that was there too) but just in that I was so unprepared for the pure animality of a newborn–the rooting and lunging, the grunting and snuffling, the sheer physicality."
The post asks the question, "Why do people candy-coat the early weeks/months?" and I’m really not sure why it is but I did/do it too. Maybe it’s because you don’t want to be completely honest and have that person always remember what you said and have it reflect on you as a mother. Maybe you just know it will get better so you keep your comments positive and optimistic. Maybe we’ve just evolved to not speak negatively about having a newborn, lest we scare the next generation into not wanting to go through it themselves and thus bring the human race to an end.
Whatever it is, you don’t tell people about how you feel like you feel like you’ve been given a strange little wild animal to care for, a person who is still pretty much a stranger who demands things of you 24/7, and screams, kicks, grunts, and claws (sometimes quite painfully) when they don’t get what they’re demanding. You don’t tell people that you question whether or not you’re cut out to do this. You don’t tell them about the moments you spend bouncing a crying baby around the house while you
yourself cry because you are exhausted, touched out, haven’t had a shower in days, and it’s nearly impossible to get a proper meal in. You don’t tell them about how hard it is to maintain a relationship with your partner, especially a physical one, because anytime the baby is content for 5 minutes, or is finally napping, you’re wondering if you should eat, shower, catch up on days of housework, try to get some time in with your partner, or just stop and take a breath, and by the time you’ve figured it out, you hear crying.
Hormones and chemicals are amazing things because they keep you going and they get you to continue to do it, minute after minute, even when you can’t even wrap your head around the craziness that is those first few weeks. The oxytocin doesn’t just make you forget birth and how painful that was it- it carries on into that postpartum period as well. Even now, just a few short weeks later, it feels like a lifetime ago. I barely remember the pain I was in afterwards. About 4 days after Adelaide was born my doula finally convinced me that there was nothing wrong with getting something to help with the pain with the motrin just wasn’t cutting it. I called the midwife the minute she left and asked for Vicodin. I can’t really remember the pain, exactly, though- more like the concept of it.
I absolutely loved Adelaide from the beginning. I knew, in my mind, that she was worth it. But honestly, it’s been within the last week and a half that I really fell in love with her. The change at 6 weeks is amazing. She suddenly became a little person, with a personality. One of the biggest changes- smiles. It went from an entirely thankless job, where you feel basically completely unappreciated (not that you feel it’s the baby’s fault or anything, it just is what it is), to being so incredibly worth it, because now that little person looks around for you, and sees you, and grins and coos, and it’s amazing. I melt every time. She has started snuggling against me when I pick her up, instead of just maniacally rooting and "wood-peckering", as we call it, for the breast. She lays there and talks to me now while I get her dressed instead of flailing her arms around and screaming while I try to get those limbs in clothes terrified the whole time that I amgoing to break her.
The first six weeks are very humbling. I think all of parenthood is, and I can’t really say that the first 6 weeks are any more or less humbling than the rest since they are all I have experienced, but you definitely learn a lot during them and you learn how you really feel about things. I didn’t understand why we might need a pacifier at all…until she would comfort nurse until she spit everything up on me because her tummy was just too full (although she still pretends she doesn’t know how to keep the pacifier in for me. She’ll take it for Jonathan and my grandma just fine). I didn’t understand why we would want a swing…until I learned very quickly that she would wake up within three minutes (no exaggeration) of laying her down anywhere. My doula loaned us a swing and for the first time she stayed asleep long enough that I was able to take a shower, and it’s where she’s taken most of her naps since. I’ve done a few things on my "Oh, I’ll never do that" list. She was in disposables her first 6 days because I was too focused on keeping her and myself alive to even think about washing diapers (yes, as silly as it is, that was on my "never do" list). I let someone baby-sit when she was 5 weeks old (my sister. We went to get some lunch and went to Ikea and it was so refreshing. She was fine- she drank her bottle of expressed milk and took a nap), even though I was sure I wouldn’t leave my baby for the first several months, at least. I’m still adamantly against crying it out but in the last week or so I have allowed her to "fuss it out". If she’s fed, and dry, and I’ve been trying to put her to sleep and she just keeps resisting and I can tell she’s exhausted…I’ll put her in the swing and walk away for a few minutes and listen to her. She’ll make what I call her "unhappy coos" for a few minutes. She’ll do her "talking cry" where she makes a sound that she knows sounds like a cry, but it’s totally not (it’s adorable..). Then she’ll fall asleep. If it doesn’t work out that way- if she sounds genuinely upset or unhappy, even if it hasn’t got to crying, I pick her up. I check her diaper again, and I nurse her or rock her or bounce with her.
People say it’s easier with the second baby, but I don’t really know if it’s any easier or if it’s just not such a complete shock to your system because you’ve been there and done that before. It seemed like such a long period of time, but now looking back, those first six weeks flew by. I’m loving this stage, though, and I think I will continue to love every stage more and more. I can’t wait for the giggles, and the rolling, and the sitting, and the first words, and the crawling, and seeing her toddle…it makes me melt just thinking about it. <3
Those baby smiles aren’t amazing aren’t they? They are pure, unadulterated joy. And you’re right, you don’t really hear the nitty gritty during the first month. I always figured you new mamas were just too tired to write! But I think it’s refreshing to hear. It’s good to know what the future has in store…
Warning Comment
Those baby smiles aren’t amazing aren’t they? They are pure, unadulterated joy. And you’re right, you don’t really hear the nitty gritty during the first month. I always figured you new mamas were just too tired to write! But I think it’s refreshing to hear. It’s good to know what the future has in store…
Warning Comment
Those baby smiles aren’t amazing aren’t they? They are pure, unadulterated joy. And you’re right, you don’t really hear the nitty gritty during the first month. I always figured you new mamas were just too tired to write! But I think it’s refreshing to hear. It’s good to know what the future has in store…
Warning Comment
Those baby smiles aren’t amazing aren’t they? They are pure, unadulterated joy. And you’re right, you don’t really hear the nitty gritty during the first month. I always figured you new mamas were just too tired to write! But I think it’s refreshing to hear. It’s good to know what the future has in store…
Warning Comment
Those baby smiles aren’t amazing aren’t they? They are pure, unadulterated joy. And you’re right, you don’t really hear the nitty gritty during the first month. I always figured you new mamas were just too tired to write! But I think it’s refreshing to hear. It’s good to know what the future has in store…
Warning Comment
I think each person has a different phase that’s difficult for them. The newborn phase wasn’t that hard for me, but others are. You just kind of roll with it.
Warning Comment
I think each person has a different phase that’s difficult for them. The newborn phase wasn’t that hard for me, but others are. You just kind of roll with it.
Warning Comment
I think each person has a different phase that’s difficult for them. The newborn phase wasn’t that hard for me, but others are. You just kind of roll with it.
Warning Comment
I think each person has a different phase that’s difficult for them. The newborn phase wasn’t that hard for me, but others are. You just kind of roll with it.
Warning Comment
I think each person has a different phase that’s difficult for them. The newborn phase wasn’t that hard for me, but others are. You just kind of roll with it.
Warning Comment
Wait until you get to two months, two months is AMAZING. The newborn phase is really tough, but it’s almost like I have a completely different baby now, it’s amazing how much they change and how much easier it keeps getting. People kept telling me it got easier, but it’s hard to believe it when you’re in the throes of that tough newborn phase where you’re getting to know one another. 🙂
Warning Comment
Wait until you get to two months, two months is AMAZING. The newborn phase is really tough, but it’s almost like I have a completely different baby now, it’s amazing how much they change and how much easier it keeps getting. People kept telling me it got easier, but it’s hard to believe it when you’re in the throes of that tough newborn phase where you’re getting to know one another. 🙂
Warning Comment
Wait until you get to two months, two months is AMAZING. The newborn phase is really tough, but it’s almost like I have a completely different baby now, it’s amazing how much they change and how much easier it keeps getting. People kept telling me it got easier, but it’s hard to believe it when you’re in the throes of that tough newborn phase where you’re getting to know one another. 🙂
Warning Comment
Wait until you get to two months, two months is AMAZING. The newborn phase is really tough, but it’s almost like I have a completely different baby now, it’s amazing how much they change and how much easier it keeps getting. People kept telling me it got easier, but it’s hard to believe it when you’re in the throes of that tough newborn phase where you’re getting to know one another. 🙂
Warning Comment
Wait until you get to two months, two months is AMAZING. The newborn phase is really tough, but it’s almost like I have a completely different baby now, it’s amazing how much they change and how much easier it keeps getting. People kept telling me it got easier, but it’s hard to believe it when you’re in the throes of that tough newborn phase where you’re getting to know one another. 🙂
Warning Comment
I was thinking these exact things just yesterdy, and our little ones are very close in age. It’s refreshing to know I am not the only one thinking these things!
Warning Comment
I was thinking these exact things just yesterdy, and our little ones are very close in age. It’s refreshing to know I am not the only one thinking these things!
Warning Comment
I was thinking these exact things just yesterdy, and our little ones are very close in age. It’s refreshing to know I am not the only one thinking these things!
Warning Comment
I was thinking these exact things just yesterdy, and our little ones are very close in age. It’s refreshing to know I am not the only one thinking these things!
Warning Comment
I was thinking these exact things just yesterdy, and our little ones are very close in age. It’s refreshing to know I am not the only one thinking these things!
Warning Comment
Reading this brought me back to the first 6 weeks of having my daughter home. You are 100% right! I remember sobbing when my mom left to go back home. I didn’t know the next time I’d have time to eat, shower, or sleep. It’s scary and exhausting! I remember doing the exact walk around the house and cry while she’s crying deal. When she started giving me 4 hour stretches of sleep, I was a new person
Warning Comment
Reading this brought me back to the first 6 weeks of having my daughter home. You are 100% right! I remember sobbing when my mom left to go back home. I didn’t know the next time I’d have time to eat, shower, or sleep. It’s scary and exhausting! I remember doing the exact walk around the house and cry while she’s crying deal. When she started giving me 4 hour stretches of sleep, I was a new person
Warning Comment
Reading this brought me back to the first 6 weeks of having my daughter home. You are 100% right! I remember sobbing when my mom left to go back home. I didn’t know the next time I’d have time to eat, shower, or sleep. It’s scary and exhausting! I remember doing the exact walk around the house and cry while she’s crying deal. When she started giving me 4 hour stretches of sleep, I was a new person
Warning Comment
Reading this brought me back to the first 6 weeks of having my daughter home. You are 100% right! I remember sobbing when my mom left to go back home. I didn’t know the next time I’d have time to eat, shower, or sleep. It’s scary and exhausting! I remember doing the exact walk around the house and cry while she’s crying deal. When she started giving me 4 hour stretches of sleep, I was a new person
Warning Comment
Reading this brought me back to the first 6 weeks of having my daughter home. You are 100% right! I remember sobbing when my mom left to go back home. I didn’t know the next time I’d have time to eat, shower, or sleep. It’s scary and exhausting! I remember doing the exact walk around the house and cry while she’s crying deal. When she started giving me 4 hour stretches of sleep, I was a new person
Warning Comment
yes. yes yes yes yes yes. And… yes. All of it.
Warning Comment
yes. yes yes yes yes yes. And… yes. All of it.
Warning Comment
yes. yes yes yes yes yes. And… yes. All of it.
Warning Comment
yes. yes yes yes yes yes. And… yes. All of it.
Warning Comment
yes. yes yes yes yes yes. And… yes. All of it.
Warning Comment
I sure hope it’s easier with the second baby. I got a little anxious reading your post and recalling exactly what the first few months were like.
Warning Comment
I sure hope it’s easier with the second baby. I got a little anxious reading your post and recalling exactly what the first few months were like.
Warning Comment
I sure hope it’s easier with the second baby. I got a little anxious reading your post and recalling exactly what the first few months were like.
Warning Comment
I sure hope it’s easier with the second baby. I got a little anxious reading your post and recalling exactly what the first few months were like.
Warning Comment
I sure hope it’s easier with the second baby. I got a little anxious reading your post and recalling exactly what the first few months were like.
Warning Comment
The first couple of months were so hard for me as Millie was incredibly demanding. She’s still demanding now at 4 months, but she at least sleeps through 6-8 hours for me at night now so that helps me rest a little. I still don’t get chance to eat or get anything done in the day though! But it’s much better than those first weeks.
Warning Comment
The first couple of months were so hard for me as Millie was incredibly demanding. She’s still demanding now at 4 months, but she at least sleeps through 6-8 hours for me at night now so that helps me rest a little. I still don’t get chance to eat or get anything done in the day though! But it’s much better than those first weeks.
Warning Comment
The first couple of months were so hard for me as Millie was incredibly demanding. She’s still demanding now at 4 months, but she at least sleeps through 6-8 hours for me at night now so that helps me rest a little. I still don’t get chance to eat or get anything done in the day though! But it’s much better than those first weeks.
Warning Comment
The first couple of months were so hard for me as Millie was incredibly demanding. She’s still demanding now at 4 months, but she at least sleeps through 6-8 hours for me at night now so that helps me rest a little. I still don’t get chance to eat or get anything done in the day though! But it’s much better than those first weeks.
Warning Comment
The first couple of months were so hard for me as Millie was incredibly demanding. She’s still demanding now at 4 months, but she at least sleeps through 6-8 hours for me at night now so that helps me rest a little. I still don’t get chance to eat or get anything done in the day though! But it’s much better than those first weeks.
Warning Comment