My Name is Erik

Hello again, Open Diary.


It’s been a few years….haha. I didn’t know you were back up until today, when my friend Matthew told me!

Some fascinating stuff that has happened since 2014…

I figured out I’m transgender. I identify as a trans guy and use he/him/his pronouns.

I’m also gay, because I’m still attracted to guys. *insert rainbows everywhere*

I have a podcast, called The Odd Atheist Friends Podcast. You can find it on and

I have one class left to graduate with my B.S. Geology degree.

I’m working 3 jobs, and trying to get a full time job to replace at least one of those.

I spent 3 months teaching grade 5 in Zambia. I went to Iceland to study renewable energy.

I discovered my love of hiking. I’ve been skydiving twice.

I lost the 4 year relationship I was in because I came out as trans.

I got diagnosed with major depressive disorder and complex ptsd. I’ve been going to counseling for several years.

I’m trying to get better and be happy.

I found a life companion 8 and 1/2 months ago. We’re doing alright so far.

I have 18 tattoos.

I’m still doing art, and I want to become a tattoo artist at some point in my life.

I also want to get a Master’s degree in international service work or something of that nature. Maybe after I join the Peace Corps in a few years.

I need to have top surgery, get my name changed,  and change all of my documents.

I’ve been out for 2 years, and on Testosterone for 1.5 years as of tomorrow!

I don’t write poetry as much anymore, but I’ll include one from December 3rd, 2016.


Partners in Life
How strange it is to be;
Semen covers me.
Everybody’s getting off,
Don’t want to reach my climax.
Breathe in deep,
Sticky white shame fills your nose.
Empowered or embarrassed?
You don’t know.
Laugh at the joke of our lives,
Getting fucked to death,
As we watch each other react,
There are no answers here.
At least we’re not alone,
Drunk on imaginary power,
Stained by bodily secretions,
Magnificent human experience.
Fighting for existence,
Keep your eyes on mine.
Let me say I love you,
Before my voice expires.
Erik Ryder
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March 16, 2018

Hello again, and welcome back! Iceland and Zambia are two fascinating places to have been.