Hello! My name is Amber. I’ve had this OD for a LONG time! Ha ha. Started this in 2004 ... and still going!

I’m a mom of 4, I homeschool, I love Jesus, and I am married.

My Open Diary mirrors my teenage self to my current self. The obvious difference is that I’ve changed A LOT compared to some “entries” you may find, lol. If you are a stalker, you will notice, LOL!

Much Love and God Bless!

Latest Entry

Even if I were to divorce my husband…

January 11, 2022
…I would probably still feel isolated or stuck. If I move to where my family lives (despite how they would sacrifice a lot for me)…I would be in a place where I feel stuck.  Plus, my family can be negative and toxic at times… If I move to a location where my friend’s live (one…
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Recent Entries

  • I can’t take this 😣
    January 5, 2022
    My daughter tonight was crying when her dad yelled at her. I was hugging her and telling her everything’s ok.  She kept telling me that’s she’s sorry and that she’s not a bad kid.  I told her she’s not a bad kid, whatsoever. Then she asks me why Dad was always mad at her? And…
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  • Things that I struggle with…
    December 8, 2021
    These are the things I’ve been struggling with for years.  It’s just something that I want to recognize for myself so I know how to deal with it or maybe get help for it in the future. Body Dysmorphia:  this is something I struggled with since I was a kid.  It started when I was…
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  • Late Night Thoughts…
    October 14, 2021
    Sometimes, I want to text you to see how you're doing.  I miss just calling you or texting you. Do you remember how we use to “AIM” each other? I miss those times.  I miss your voice talking to me. Do you want to hear something else? You were the one who introduced me to…
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  • How My Children Save My Life, Daily.
    October 5, 2021
    Every time I write in this diary, it's always something dramatic, something depressing, or I'm sharing the deepest parts of my heart that would be inappropriate to share publicly. However, even in my most depressing and sad moments...I look at my kids and realize how deep my love is for them and ...
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  • Miss you
    September 28, 2021
    I miss our conversations... Hearing your voice over the phone or in person... Feeling your hand touch mine... Seeing your smile...   I miss the feeling I had talking to you... The feeling of peace... The feeling that I could tell you everything... I felt like you were the person who understo...
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  • Maybe Something Is Wrong With Me
    September 24, 2021
    Today was not a good day.  I've been crying all day. It started out ok until one situation that happened. Well, I came across a video of a girl who was wearing tight jeans (and was seeking attention) was walking around with a phone in her pocket while others were staring at her backside. Obviousl...
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  • Trying: Just My Deep Thoughts For Today
    September 20, 2021
    I’m trying to be more social and reach out to people.  Some days it’s really hard. For over 12 years, I have pushed people away for various reasons.  One reason is that I have a hard time trusting people…but I’m getting better.  Another reason is I’m afraid to get close to people just to lose&hel...
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  • Panic..
    September 6, 2021
    Worked a double today. Had a panic attack at work... Great...
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  • Hopeless
    September 4, 2021
    Sometimes I think things are getting better... Then something happens to tell me it's not... I have no one to go to... I’m lost.
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