"The best way out is always through." Attempting to practice journal therapy, so a lot of my posts will be related to mental health and my journey. I'll share recommendations for resources that have helped me. My other interests are climate crisis, the history and evolution of humanity, psychoactive substances and their impact on our evolution and as therapeutic vehicles, and intentional communities. Somewhere in the middle of the privilege scale (but still entirely self-loathing for my lack of gratitude for the privilege I do have).

Latest Entry

Asset 5

Denial or minimization

January 6, 2022
The book Complex PTSD by Pete Walker, so far, seems to be a godsend. I get anxious when I think of how long it will take me to truly make use of it, but I've been trying to find something that felt like I was on a solid path for years. It seemed like instead…
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Recent Entries

  • Memory or fabrication
    January 4, 2022
    Are the memories gone? Never made? Just locked up tight? I hate describing the smallest snapshot of a memory and then saying "I assume I would have felt.." And the snippets of memories I have, I don't trust. I know I fell in the bathtub and had to get stitches. I also know that I…
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  • Today I learned..
    January 4, 2022
    NOT to listen to the CPTSD audiobook at bedtime. I know it's a rookie mistake, but for someone that's largely emotionally disconnected I'm still surprised when something brings up anything for me. It's bizarre and somewhat fascinating, this time manifesting in becoming so uncomfortable in my skin...
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  • Word of the year
    January 3, 2022
    Since I'm not a fan of resolutions, but I am a fan of harnessing some of the reset energy of a new year, I have sometimes picked a word of the year. I haven't in a couple of years and thought it was time to try again. I went through the exercise and narrowed it…
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  • Asset 5
    New year, same 💩
    January 2, 2022
    I recognize that time is a continuum and not an integer, so there's no reason to expect that at 12:00 am on January 1st there should be some type of perceivable shift or, like a thorough cleaning of a whiteboard using the proprietary dry erase board cleaner (mostly alcohol), everything that trans...
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