I am who I am. I write to express the troubles I can't always vocalize. I have had troubling relationships that I have learned from. I have found spiritual connections with others that have changed my life. I am a recovering heroin user with 5 years clean, and I dedicated a lot of that time to helping others find their pathway to recovery. I was once trafficked through the rehab system and endured a lot of distrust with those who were claiming to help me as a young adult. I am also in the medical field. Trust me, I FAILED alot before I found any peace in my life through external validation and inflated successes. Everyday I learn, I evolve and I pass that on. Thank you for finding my journal and feel free to add me. Remember, you are not your experiences, but they are apart of what made you, you.

Latest Entry

Lessons.

January 18, 2022
Do you ever just feel like your stuck loving someone who is hiding behind pretending to love you. Why don't I deserve to be loved correctly? I'm sorry to everyone i tell not to let their heart win faulty battles just to continue doing it to myself. Lessons I did learn in the last few…
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Recent Entries

  • Asset 6
    Day of Birth
    January 11, 2022
    I know pretty much everything I write has to do with Tyler so I am going to try to incorporate other things. Today I got my rental, it's a nissan rogue and I wish I could get it, but I know I don't need it right now and I'll be happy with whatever I get.…
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  • Grateful for Universal guidance
    January 9, 2022
    I am hopeful for a beautiful future, and open horizens that allow me to fluidity and love. I am open to the universe and it's source to guide the needs through me and back. I will allow myself to be gracious for the warmth of my sheets and the ability of life amongst my weakest…
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  • What to do when falling off the edge.
    October 29, 2021
    I just need to empty out all the bullshit in my head. I’m going through some pretty severe depression and its partially because my partner, whom is in recovery lied about smoking weed, probably doing other things, where he’s been and why hes had to miss house meetings. Everytime this has ever occ...
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  • Sounds sad but yeah
    October 27, 2021
    The silver lining is seemingly gray When rainstorms don't wash our worries away And all the prayers stay locked in a box Where we hold the key but are too scared to unlock So we just hold on to the gray lining high in the sky Hoping it may look silver to the dying human…
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  • Update
    July 28, 2021
    Trying to fund this peer center is stressing me tf out. My bills are piling up and we need donors for our event coming up in september. I definitely need a business coach, but my brain is a little scattered lately. I'm so sick of the ins and outs of my brain and my ADD.…
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  • My person.
    March 28, 2021
    I am trying  so hard not to become that version of me that become's obsessed in fear. Tyler is out doing whatever, with whomever. He has that right, I am now his ex which sounds weird to say. Neither of us have changed our facebook statuses, account access or location accesses and we both can.&he...
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  • Tyler.
    March 25, 2021
    What I want to say doesn't change what happens if i do. But if I wanted to be a fool as say this, I would. I would tell you how much I love you and how many times I've rewatched you walk out and everything inbetween. I would tell you how I stayed up half…
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  • Relieved in Choices
    March 23, 2021
    AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ABOUT TO BE BROKE WITH A BUSINESS I AM DISAPPOINTED TO BE RUNNING ALONE. - I need to calm this anger down. I need to tame the fear of- How can you literally love someone to the core of your being and hate them at the same time???HOW? How can you feel so complete…
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  • Opening a business and the ultimatums of mismatched desires
    March 22, 2021
    Update: I have been public speaking, starting a wellness center that I have limited funding for and was going to start with my fiancee, attending a private college to get my bsn, and have been trying to help run a sober house and sober community online. I want to scream. I feel like this nasty&he...
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