Pissed off? Read this!

My mom sent me these jokes… wow. Go figure, but they’re really funny.

Joke 1:

>”I would like for every bear in this forest to be female except for me.”

>A magical sound and it was done.>

>Then the rabbit said. “I would like a helmet.”

>This confused both the frog and the bear, but after a magical sound there

>was a helmet.>

>It was the bear’s turn again. “I would like for every bear in the

>neighboring forest to be female.” A magical sound and it was done.>

>The rabbit went again. “I would like a motorcycle.”

>Both the frog and the bear wondered why the rabbit didn’t just ask for a

>lot of money with which he could buy himself a motorcycle,

>but after a magical sound there was a motorcycle.>

>The bear took his last wish. “I would like for all the bears in the world

>to be female except for me.”>A magical sound and it was done.>

>The rabbit then put on his helmet, started up the motorcycle, and said,

>”I wish the bear was gay” and took off like a bat out of hell.>>>>

Joke 2:

>Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in

>court before the judge.

>The judge said, “You seem like nice young men, and I’d like to give you a

>second chance rather than jail time.

>I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug

>use and get them to give up rugs forever.>I’ll see you back in court Monday.”>

>Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the first one,

>”How did you do over the weekend?”>

>”Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever.”>

>”Seventeen people? That’s wonderful. What did you tell them?”>

>”I used a diagram, your honor.

>I drew two circles and told them the big circle is your brain before drugs

>and the small circle is your brain after drugs.”>

>”That’s admirable,” said the judge. “And you, how did you do?” the judge

>said to the second boy.>

>”Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever.”>

>”156 people! That’s amazing! How did you manage to do that?”>

>”Well, I used a similar approach. I also used two circles.

>I pointed to the small circle and said, ‘This is your asshole before

>prison…’ “>>