Tuesday 4/23/24

7:28a.m. Low and Behold I’m dressed and in my wheelchair already! I also had very nice aides who did a great job. Infact, I had great care last night. I also slept soundly with no weird dreams. Maybe things will be changing since the state crackedk down on them.

I was thinking about my talk with the administrator and the social worker. They talked a good game. But will things really change? I was telling Chocolatechip about how they were going to investigate that aide. She said it will be her word against mine. She was right. As for them not getting my check Chocolatechip said that was just a other story. Hell I used to get my SS check on the 3rd. April is almost over. That whole conversation was nothing but more lies from the nursing home.

I’m still proud of myself for speaking up. That took some nerve. I’m not afraid because they treat me like shit anyways. As Chocolatechip says what do I have to lose?

9:09a.m. They served biscuits and gravy plus hash browns and oatmeal for breakfast. It was delicious and I ate it all. The coffee was hot and the oj cold. I then received today’s menu. They are serving sweet and sour meatballs, butter noodles, carrots and peaches for lunch. For dinner they are serving macaroni and cheese, coleslaw, a dinner roll and cookies. I’m looking forward to these meals.

The state is here again. I would like to talk with him. I’m not satisfied with my talk to the social worker and the administrator. I think they were giving me another bull shit story., especially about them not getting the SS check I guess I will not be satisfied until I have that gift card in my big fat hands.

9:56a.m. I can’t believe people are being very nice. I was pushed down to the Fiesta Room for the coffee social. I had one cup of coffee. I was wheeling myself back when a lady pushed me back to my room. Perhaps speaking up had something to do with this. In any case I’m having a very good day so far.

I read one chapter in Here, Right Matters by Alexander S Vindman. The author is a retired Lieutenant Colonel in the Army. On July 25, 2019 he was with Trump when the President made the infamous call to the President of Ukraine , Volodymyr Zelensky . It amounted to a shakedown call. Trump was going to withhold aide to the Ukraine unless Zelensky launched an investigation of Joe and Hunter Biden. This was in direct conflict with U.S.policy. Colonel Vindman concluded Trump’s call was an impeachable offence. Vindman would eventually testify against the President in the impeachment proceedings. I think this will be another interesting tell all book about Trump.

12:14p.m. This had been a doless morning. I’ve been sitting in my wheelchair thinking about what I told the state and the administrator of the nursing home. I’ve been wondering if anything is going to change. I’ve also been thinking about buying books and the Amazon gift card. I’m thinking they were screwing with me again. Nothing is going to change and I’ll be out $50.

These thoughts have been in the back of my mind since I talked to the state. I’ve really been obsessing over them this morning. I wish to hell I never said anything. Nothing ever changes and whenever the subject comes up I get upset. I wasted a whole morning with these ruminating thoughts.

I hope lunch will break this thinking. I want to read my book Here, Right Matters by Alexander S Vindman. But I can’t concentrate because my mind is running in a million different directions. I hate this about myself.

5:17p.m. The state must of left the building. The staff is getting back to their old nasty self. I’ve been trying to get changed at put in bed since 3:00. They gave me two different excuses I don’t give a shit about their excuses. All I know, or care about, is I’m hurting and I need help. But once again I’m being ignored.

I was talking with Chocolateschip. We don’t believe they don’t have my check. April is almost over for gosh sakes. The nursing home is jerking my chain.

6:32p.m. I was in a lot of pain for a long time. Chocolatechip called my nurse. The aides finially came. They were not very happy about doing their job. But I’m in bed with clean briefs. This is the first time I’ve been changed since 7:00a.m. I guess it is back to normal in the nursing home.

This was a day wasted. I spent almost all my time worrying about what I said to the state. I could of been reading or listening to music. But No! I was obsessing over that stupid Amazon gift card. I was wondering about the outcome with my talk to the administrator and the social worker. All that worrying was for nothing because nothing changes. That talk was just a complete waste of my time.

I hate this place! I swear to God I hate this fucking place! I want out of here in the worst possible way. Again the nursing home is jerking my chain. They know I want out of here but they are not doing anything to get me to a new facility. I’m being kept here against my will I swear God I’m being kept here against my will!

8:15p.m. I just finished reading Chapter 3 in Here, Right Matters. in this chapter Colonel Vindman writes about his family background. They are Jewish and was originally from Ukraine. He writes about the tough times they endured under Stalin . Then Hitler invaded the Soviet Union on July 22, 1941.

Being Jewish and living in Kiev the Vindmans had to flee They eventually ended up in a town along the Ural Mountains. After the war they returned to Kiev. Vindman,,’s father grew up there. he overcame Anti Semitism and became an engineer. But he also became to hate Communism. He was able to escape the Soviet Union. They ended up in Brooklyn

I thought the Vindman family had a very interesting story. Again I’m injoying a good book. Reading helped calm me down. Again i got lost in a good story and forgot about everything. I hope to read one more chapter tonight

This has been a bad day. I want to end it on a positive note. Here is a list of things to feel good about:

Roof over my head
Clean safe environment
Clothes to wear
Insurance and Social Security
Wonderful girlfriend in Chocolatechip
Plenty of books to read
Phone and internet connection
Three meals a day
Mind that still functions
A tablet and a Kindle

Well I can think of ten good things tonight. Things are not that bad after all. Tomorrow will be a better day