Closing Thoughts

The low budget music video went well. The guy I shot with was very respectable. I paid him $175 for 3.5 hours of his time. Now I have to find someone who can edit it for that same rate. The entire music video will cost me about $450 total. It’s a six minute song so I’m hoping I have enough footage to cover the entire length of the song.
I said something recently in one of my last entries that I regret. I said something along the lines of wishing my parents helped me get into the business earlier instead of me having to do everything on my own at 18. I am grateful my parents did not succeed at getting me in the business earlier.
In fact, God did not want me in the business earlier either. When I was a little girl, my mom did put me in acting classes. It was a waste of money because I don’t remember anything I learned. I do remember taking headshots at a very young age. I enjoyed it so much.
By the age of seven, I had an acting agent. I read lines for a television show and got a callback. In order to attend the callback, my parents drove for two days to California. We stayed at a motel, but in the middle of the night, the San Fernando earthquake occurred. The audition was pushed back an entire week because of the earthquake, and my parents opted for us to return home. I never made it to my callback. I believe if I made it to the callback, I would have become a child actress. I am so glad I didn’t.
I was able to experience life without being under a microscope. I got a taste of fame when I did porn. I only did four short scenes total but it was plastered all over the internet. I remember even blogs wrote about me. It wasn’t long before news traveled to my hometown about my porn. It was traumatizing.
I will go into further detail one day soon but it’s almost midnight. I’m ready to fall asleep soon. I hope I don’t have any vivid dreams or nightmares. I just want to sleep for eight hours or longer.
Life is a crazy journey. We must make the most out what we are given and give what we can. I appreciate that comment sent to me. It’s very true. Goodnight
“Jesus, thank you for a pleasant shoot. I pray the music video will turn out amazing and I find the perfect editor to make the story come to life. Please help me find work soon. Or, please let work find me and I get a callback for an audition. Thank you for everything you have done and are doing in my life. Please give me a peace that surpasses all understanding and a strength that is everlasting. Amen”

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March 22, 2023

You are lucky to even have an agent. I wanted to break into acting for so long, I had my chance but I got mentally ill… so… ended up homeless for a spell.

March 22, 2023

@mattinykanenlover I ended up homeless too. But not for long, it was only for a week or so that I lived in my car. You are so right. It’s very difficult to get an agent…almost impossible these days. I am very lucky to have my Houston agent. My meeting for a possible LA agent is on March 28th. Fingers crossed they sign me.

March 22, 2023

@bellesworld84 finger crossed 🙂