2022 get the f_(# out of my house

Stuff I want to write about 5am version… I’m on steroids and can’t sleep FUCK…

Ken. I miss Ken. I think of him often and hope he is doing well. He is was one of the greatest storytellers I’ve ever met. Fiercely loyal to my ex husband who broke him down in private all the time. Not my place to tell him. I was selfish because I loved having him in my life and sadly “lost him in the divorce”. I’ll never see another Maverick Grabber without getting a little sad that I can’t call him to tell him where I saw it. His throaty honest fucking giggle laugh. Lord I miss hearing that.

I want my fucking wingman t shirt back. It was my favorite Tshirt. A mustard yellow men’s oversized t-shirt with WINGMAN written in brown velour that hung perfectly across my pre momhood rack. My cape of confidence was lost when my not boyfriend decided to keep it and I didn’t figure it out until after I flew home. 18years plus ago and i’m still mourning a shirt. Dude, I’ve got hang ups.

Jamus. He was a catfish chat. I subscribed to playing along prolonging the fantasy because he was just so confident in telling his beautiful lies. “He” came along at a time in my life where I just needed someone to make me FEEL SOMETHING OTHER THAN ANGER. When the.stories believable and he started with the you need to come to me but not yet… it got dumb I called him out. Ghosted. AOL.. maybe I just miss the parade of interesting stories in AOL chatrooms. You can be anything you want to be in a chatroom.

I want to write more but like my life these tired stories  are just distractions.

Later.