Still Alive

I survived the date, which was normal, if not mind numbing boring. Nice guy, but no chemistry romantically when actually faced with meeting. Oh this is why I hate internet dating. I’ve had a migraine the past 3 days, havent felt like writing much with that throbbing through my skull. I need to get there though. I want to write. About a lot of things. About Miget. About Kenzie. About my life and the things I lived after my divorce and the fucking downfall of it all. The pain, the drinking, the black coldness that numbed my soul. That I am torn between wanting to slip back to, and wanting to hold out for a love out there, someone who understands me truly, the whole thing, and loves it. Really loves me. I know who I am, I know what I want for a relationship, and I don’t think I will honestly find it. One day I might give up on the love thing, and just settle for money and marry me a nice military guy. Or maybe Ill stay single the rest of my days. Id prefer not. Id prefer someone to hold me when Im old and watch grandchildren play in our yard. Oh thoughts are spinning.

Please say some prayers for my friend Jose, who is currently hospitalized in the ICU and the doctors are not sure if he will live through this or not. In a drug induced coma. We need all the prayers and positive thinking that can be sent!