At a loss for words…

Now that I’m here I’m not really sure what to write about.  So much time has passed and so much water under the bridge, where to even begin, you know?

I’m leery.  I don’t trust this place and I don’t know that I ever will.  I’m not sure I can put myself out there.

It’s like my spouse cheated on me and now I can’t give myself to him 100% because the betrayal stand between us.  I also don’t like that for now my entries have to be public so that old friends who aren’t members only can find me.  That feels a little like extortion.  Again…no trust.

I have this firm belief  in life that when someone proves to you who they really are….believe them.

But yet here I am because this place was home since 1999.  That was the year I met both C and Tim.  I poured every thing I had about them into this place.

I’m glad I downloaded my diary frequently and again on that final day.  It’s not loss.  I keep it in a safe place.  It makes me feel less loss if my diary can’t be recovered.

Time will tell.

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January 30, 2018

It’s my understanding that if you are members only then people who aren’t “members only” will not be able to access your post if it’s a members only post. I’m keeping all my posts public for the time being as people come back during the 30 day free trial period. It was put in as a privacy thing.

January 30, 2018

Hey! I used to read you here before. You’re right about the members only thing – only people who have paid for the site will see them but if you leave them public, everyone under that 30 day free thing can see them also. Hope you’ll stick around!

January 30, 2018

@schonerengel thanks! Time will tell, right?