Stuck in the Middle (with me)

One thing I can never seem to battle is this innate sense of FEAR about doing anything….. Anything that isn’t watching TV or mindless. I want to start a productivity blog, get back into my research, do something that isn’t just watching youtube. And yes, I know I’ve complained to myself about this before, but it’s just SUCH a part of me, and such a part of my psyche.


Yes, I could say THIS DECADE I WILL BE MORE FOCUSED. Or, THIS DECADE I WILL HAVE MORE DISCIPLINE. Ok, great, now how??? Am I tired of pushing myself? Am I CONVINCED I am going to fail if I do remotely anything creative or out of the norm? And most of all, how long will I live in this fear bubble will TV or FB is my secure place of passive comfort.

One day I’ll get it….

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January 1, 2020

I’m currently poised to be going thru a evolution myself…. I have made some goals for myself to get back to who I was and to create. I feel like the past year I spent a lot of mind-numbing time online or watching tv. What a waste! Good luck to you! (Saw you mention David Bowie in previous entry…. He’s a good muse! Was devastated when he died.)

January 2, 2020


I’m definitely feeling like this year is a time to really move forward and push ourselves out of our comfort zone. And not just because it’s a New Year either–but because it’s time to move on from being stagnant from all the years prior? If that makes sense, haha!

But I can DEFINITELY relate with your goals and the feeling that you could have done something else…

(As for Bowie, a big, loud, roaring sad F U C C C K needs to be echoed because that was hard…. He was definitely my muse for a looong time…. Definitely sad as fuck when he passed. 😫)

January 2, 2020

I have a good friend who used to end his notes with this, “Live Life!”  I find when I live life I have things to write about on Open Diary.  It’s fun to experience life and then share it with others.  Give it a try.  It works for me.

January 2, 2020


That’s honestly a really good perspective to take! I recently saw a video where it was like “you’re not lazy or unmotivated. You’re afraid.” and the end message was to “Just Do It.” No matter what it is. Which I feel is definitely in the same vain as “Live Life!” 🙂