attack of the pregnant belly

So, my co workers are starting to really notice I’m pregnant methinks.

Listen, I’m not delusional. I was a chubby little chub before. I looked pregnant EVERY DAY.

But now? It’s like I walk different and I lead with my stomach (I can’t suck it in, lol), so I know I look different. A lot of people I didn’t tell KNOW that I’m pregnant, so I’m pretty sure about 75% of the rest of the people on my floor know too (there’s at least 200 ppl on my floor).

Anyway, I don’t really talk to people unless I have to, so when passing in the halls I’ll say hi or wave or whatever. But now, people are looking at me with fear.

Like, they will glance at my stomach, get wide eyes or a weird face, then look away real fast. They won’t say a word, or they’ll say it with a weird tilt in their voices like they expect me to stop, point to my stomach and say:

"Oh yeah, baby in side! it’s a human! yup! no need for the alarm! it’s not an alien! I’m knocked up!"

(Looks up. That rhymes. it could be a song….)

I want to carry around a sign that just says "yes." on it. lol.

 

GOD.

Anyway, it’s weird, but also hilarious. The faces they make and the things they do to pass off not looking at my giant stomach is comical indeed.

What isn’t comical?

My 3:00 crash. It happened yesterday and I can feel it happening now. OMg… TIRED as fuck.

like I could just fall out and go to sleep RIGHT NOW.

But when I get home it slowly fades but I have no energy to do shit all and so my evenings are pointless because I just want to pass out but not sleep because I’ll wake up at 2 in the morning unable to sleep and really fuck my body clock up.

I did not make tacos last night. I probably wont’ make them til Friday. Because I’m too damn tired!!!

CALAMITY AND MAYHEM!!!!

I hope to cook tonight. one of those frozen pasta things you throw in a skillet? I should be able to handle that without falling asleep and burning the house down… right?

I ate half a bag of honey roasted cashews. I made love to those things. they are so damn good.

speaking of love… I haven’t had sex in months.

MONTHS.

what. the. fuck.

I haven’t gone this long without sex in a very very very long time. I don’t even think I went this long after having my kids? Ok, I lie. I did wait 6 months after Jacob was born to go flouncing my goodies all around.

Truth be told?

i have been handling the business on my own now and then, even once in the new house HA! But honestly? I miss sex. stupid sex. bah.

Baboo and I are still going to do an anniversary thing I guess. I bugged him about it. In June. Right before the baby is born. lol. We will just go away for a weekend, sit on our asses, eat a bunch of food and not have any sex.

To prevent pregnancy we probably won’t have sex til this time next year.

I’m gonna kill myself.

I’m buying a vibrator. I’m NOT TELLING HIM. He is so against me having one. But I will need SOMETHING or I’ll lose my damn mind. This girl has needs.

alright, enough, i don’t even know what the hell I’m going on about.

blah.

baby is laying right at the bottom of my uterus. it’s so heavy right now.

 

Oh yeah, I have a ticker. Look at that!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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 (A zombie apocalypse survival diary, for your reading pleasure and future knowledge when they take over the world. Yes, I am the author.)