Some Day… I’ll Be Normal… or… SOMETHING.

Lovely day. I need it to be today. And so it is.

 

I  kiss this day every so kissaliciously on it’s little nose.

*muah*

Ok, so whatever.

I’m obviously weird this morning.

and the chorus sings "what else is neeeeewwwww!?!"

nothing.

So i DID have lots of red playdoh in my bed.

along with stolen cookies.

they also stole my skittles!

my kids are fiends!

grrrr!

I’ve taken to closing my bedroom door at night, but it never fails, by 2 am, both of my heathens are smooshed in my bed, stealing my blanket, hogging my pillows, pushing me into about 2.5 inches of mattress with my legs hanging over the edge.

*sigh*

sometimes I wonder if they had their own room with their own space if they would want to stay in it.

One day. Hopefully soon.

but we do what we can now.

I’m just raising two serious momma’s boys and it sorta bugs me.

It’s all a "some day… some day…" game in my head.

some day i’ll have my own place.

some day i won’t be living paycheck to paycheck like a loser

some day i’ll finish getting my degree (TWO YEARS! ONLY TWO YEARS LEFT! AHHHH!!!)

some day I’ll find someone who will want me.

some day i’ll be able to have that family i’ve dreamed of since i was a little girl.

some day i’ll have another baby with a man who wants it and cherishes me and takes care of us (and hopefully it’ll be my daughter. ha! right… pshaw)

some day i’ll smile when i wake up in the morning, not sigh and think "oh god, here we go again"

some day i’ll get sex from my husband on a regular basis (if he knows what’s good for him) and i won’t have to sit and hope a booty call puts me in the que so i can get laid.

some day i won’t be such a crude disgusting filthy perverted woman. (fat chance on this one)

some day i’ll have a home to decorate and make my own, rather than feeling like i’m living in borrowed space and not wanting to get too comfortable because I’ll just have to leave it anyway.

some day i’ll be able to volunteer in my childrens school and see them learning and be a part of that process.

some day I, Monique, won’t be chaosbride… because I’ll find a way to break that bond with the utterly insane that has me chained to insanity all of the time. I will find a way to tell chaos he can bug off and stop making my life so fucked up literally ALL of the time. I’ll find a way to dodge disapointment and allude failure. I’ll find a way to make the rest of the time I have on this earth not just a waste of time, but a beneficial time to myself, AND others.

some day.

some day.

some day.

but today… it’s the same shit different day.

and some day feels like a joke.

But I’m alright.

goody, mr. happy doom just came in. that means i won’t be stuck hiding from gramps the noise perv. yesterday mr. happy doom wasn’t here when gramps the noise perv came in. and that sucked. I don’t mean to tease and laugh to make myself a target. That’s just my personality for the most part, and when people start out friendly, then i’m friendly back. and there is a lot of banter in this office, and i’m the main source of good laughter. so i like being able to that… but sometimes it’s hard to find that balance so that when i’m being "nice" it’s not taken as being "flirtatious" to the wrong people who then cross the line. I also don’t want people "out to get me" and i already know the politics around here. If i were to start making gramps the noise perv back off and got hostile or angry towards him, i don’t want to start office drama. I don’t need it. I try to fly under the radar because if people don’t like you, they can make your life hell. and i’m just trying to stay on the good side and be neutral. and he’s one of the people who can start hell if he doesn’t agree with you. so… yeah. i did back off yesterday and didn’t laugh when he cornered me in the kitchen saying he wanted my snickers bar. I told him I had eaten it and i got loud and said he needed to move out of my way.

he did move… after i yelled twice.

he was really out of line yesterday, so hopefully he got the hint when i ran away from him and didn’t talk to him for the rest of the day.

pervy fool.

anyway, i’m off to start my day and do whatever it is i’m gonna do.

make a damn seating chart of whatever. bah.

if you like sims, i have pics in my previous entry (it should be titled sim pic nation, but i’m not sure how the chapter thing works, so you  might have to go to my diary front page and go to the simalicious chapter. bleh…) and i have gotten my sim  love bug again, so i’ll more than likely make a few more tonight… i think i only have like 2 more on my list. so if  i forgot you, let me know. I still have my final fantasy bug, but i’m in the portion of the game where everything takes hours to get thru and you can’t save whenever you want, so it’s definitely a weekend game.

whatever.

will post some petit noir later as well.

fake left, shoot right.

score.