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Relationships

Self-deception

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May 1, 2009
“The ingenuity of self-deception is inexhaustible.” Hannah Moore I haven't had the will to write these past few days but see that it is necessary if I want to face the truth. I discovered that my partner B has been using again. Even after I bought him expensive text books and a b...
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35

The only certainty is uncertainty

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April 14, 2009
“I tore myself away from the safe comfort of certainties through my love for the truth; and truth rewarded me”.   Simone de Beauvoir Our government recently paid its people close to a $1000 as part of its economic stimulus package. I used mine to pay two weeks rent. It now a...
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23

Safe comfort of certainties

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April 9, 2009
At the beginning of my relationship with B, I was incredibly idealistic, hopeful, and naively believed that love would conquer all. The first three months we spent together were the most intensely joyful I have spent with another person. I have never felt so much love, understanding, meaning and ...
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20

Constants are changing…

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February 14, 2007
“The way we live our days, is the way we live our lives.” - Annie Dillard   I have spent over two years trying to regain my mental health and try to create a life worth living. I've given up all substances and vices. I've been to a psychiatrist; he put me on medication and…
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22

Serendipity

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February 3, 2007
"Though it is important to stay focused, an occasional distraction can sometimes be a good thing. There is much value to be found in the unexpected. The people you didn't expect to meet, the places you didn't expect to go, the things you didn't expect to learn can often lead you in new and p...
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29

Lick, Fold. Sender. Stamp, Seal. Frank, Address.

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February 1, 2007
“The post office has a great charm at one point of our lives.  When you have lived to my age, you will begin to think letters are never worth going through the rain for.” Jane Austen   I have had a lifelong reoccurring dream about receiving good news in the mail, lost things...
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15

Drizzly rain and first kisses

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January 23, 2007
A cocky South African boy called Nick was my first love. We were fifteen when we met. He would walk past and stare at me with my mod bob, my vintage hounds tooth pencil skirts, black tights and pinkle wicker pointy shoes. I’d look him up and down in his Harrington jacket, Ben Sherman shirts...
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10

Vulnerability

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January 7, 2007
“The notion of looking on at life has always been hateful to me. What am I if I am not a participant? In order to be, I must participate.”Antoine de Saint-Exupery   If I am not a participant, I am what I have been for a long time, a prisoner within my four walls. This…
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20

By the Parramatta River

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December 23, 2006
When we were children, we used to think that when we were grown-up we would no longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability... To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle I had a text  from B yesterday, I had not heard from him in a month or two and had…
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12

A taste of honey

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December 15, 2006
A quick smile is more seductive than a slinky dress. Mason Cooley Desire has returned, random with longing and climbing walls. I generally try to avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.Mae West I think that if temptation knocked on my door right now, I would let it in, make it a drin...
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