Scared, Alone and Confused
So I finally grew a pair and ended my almost 11 year relationship only 4 days ago, I really thought that i was doing the right thing by discussing things together and telling him what my plans were and i thought that everything was going ok until last night.
Last night he was drinking alone on his birthday and had had a fair bit but was happy. He started talking to me about everything we had talked about a few nights before, then he started getting angry.
Around midnight i jumped into bed with our 3yr old who was well and truly tired and thats when the abuse started back up. he was standing over the top of myself and our son, with all of the nasty and hurtfulness flying, he layed the boot in a few times, with threats of all of the cruel things he is going to do to me the day that i move out…
My worst fear is what he is going to do with an old diary of mine he has locked away (I have no idea where it is), this diary is from when i was in a complete mess after the very messy break up with my oldest’s father and all of my confusion in the first 12 months of our relationship together.
He is telling me that he is going to be publishing it all across social media and going to be showing his older children who aren’t even mine as well as their mothers and anyone else who will listen and look.
The way that he was talking about the 4 children that we have together, his plans are to use the diary and my past as a way to have all 4 taken away from me and placed into his care when i go.
I am so alone in all of this, i physically cannot leave until the rest of my money transferrs from a joint account i opened mid year, and i have to try and get myself as well as all 4 kids to the domestic violence refuge. Which i am thinking i may have to some how try and do tonight (New Years eve) as it is going to be another 40’c + day today (were currently in the middle of a heat wave).
there is way more going on, but i cannot bring myself to talk about it, I am too scared to call the police or ask for any help. But iam also so scared of what is going to happen as well.
I tried my best to do things the right way, but things just love blowing up in my face!!!
I think you’re doing the right thing by writing all of this down and attempting to leave. The law IS on your side as far as the journal thing goes. If he does publish it you need to immediately see a therapist and have it documented about the harm that it’s doing to you. If it causes you mental anguish then it’s considered a crime. He will hurt himself more than it will hurt you in the long run. Do what’s best for your children. They will emulate what they see. Your son will grow up to be the type of man he is and if you have daughters they will expect that same from the men they date. By leaving the abuse you show them that you are strong and independent. All of this doesn’t have to be a tragedy. These could be some of the greatest lessons they learn in their life. Hang in there and make sure you have support. If you don’t have friends or family then reach out to shelters that can set you up with people that can protect you and help you get on your feet. Good luck my friend ::Hugs::
Warning Comment
So sorry you are going through all of this.
How pathetic of him to try to trap you w/ blackmail of the old diary. Like the above person said the law will be on your side. Document everything when you leave & what he does to try to trap you and blackmail you. You & the children will be much better off w/out him. Be careful, plan well, & get out. 💛💛💛
Warning Comment