OUCH!

So, oddly enough two really painful things happened to me one day after another. I got a tattoo on Saturday. It’s a huge chest tattoo, I actually wasn’t anticipating it to be as big as the artist ended up designing it. I was kind of thinking of it being half my chest, but instead it sort of follows my cleavage and goes from shoulder to shoulder and up to my neck. It was SO BEAUTIFUL and also SO FUCKING PAINFUL! I’ve never been tattooed on my sternum before and it fuckin hurts. Also the parts that were so close to my neck, well the nerves make it feel like your neck is getting tattooed.

I’m really happy with it though, it’s beautiful. I keep looking at it. It’s just the outline right now, the colouring is happening next month. One leaf on it (it’s an animal and a big flower) is kind of red and I think maybe reacting badly just because it’s so close to my neck and the skin is sensitive. I dunno. It was worse yesterday though and I was worried about it, but it’s lessening today so I’m a bit relieved.

Anyway, it was intense and heavy getting tattooed that much. Outlines are hard for me, and she was using a THICK needle for some of the outlines, like really wide outlines. Anyway, it’s over, for now.

The next day was uneventful until I went to go to the store at around 8pm. I have a stairwell that goes down to the ground floor where my front door is, and I had a burnt out lightbulb. I did put in a request to get it replaced, but it wasn’t yet. Anyway, long story short some shit was in my way, I stepped on a stray shoe I wasn’t expecting, my foot rolled and I heard a crack and there was blindingly awful pain.

I knew it was a break, it was so fucking awful. I had to sit there on the steps for a while until I could move to the couch. I was freaking out, what to do with my dogs, because my girl dog would attack any paramedic. How to unlock the door, which was all the way down stairs. I was pretty distressed. I called the healthline and talked to a nurse who told me to sit tight and go to the doctor in the morning, because going to the ER at night would suck and it wasn’t SUPER urgent although really it was. I had some very dangerous moments trying to hop around my apartment on one leg without hurting my foot. Oh man it sucked. I got a friend to bring a cold pack, ace bandage, and tylenol, and went to bed. The next morning I wiped myself up, slithered down the stairs and out the front door, and called the ambulance.

The hospital was really nice, and fast, it only took three hours to get xrays and diagnosed with a fracture. I got a walking boot and some crutches and instructions. I can weight bear, which is good, because I live alone so I have to do things for myself like cook and clean some things.

I’ve been trying to figure out accommodations for myself to handle this situation. It takes forever to walk with crutches, like, four times as long to get through my courtyard to the street. I haven’t bothered trying to time how long it takes to walk a block. I’m trying to avoid going long distances right now. My friends came the next day for band practice and they brought me dog food, dish soap, some food, one of them took out my garbage and the other did my laundry and cleaned out my fridge. It was nice! I’ve been trying to figure out how to ask for help and how to access services with this brand new mobility issue.

I ordered groceries a couple of nights ago and they were delivered today at noon. I’m so fucking happy you wouldn’t believe! There’s no way I wanted to ask one of my friends to go shopping for me for that many groceries. It was easily $250 worth of groceries because I had barely anything left to eat when I got injured. Actually, it’s such a good deal to get groceries delivered and I always found it such a difficult task to do because I would take cabs home, that I think I’m going to continue even when I am back to normal. Not for small grocery shops, but big ones, totally. Two thumbs up!

I looked into getting a laundry service, but that seemed more steep. I think maybe because my laundry is so cheap here, it’s only fifty cents to wash and fifty cents to dry. And this was like “$2 dollars per pound of laundry” and I’m like fuck I don’t want to weigh my laundry and pay a bazillion dollars. So I’m glad my friend could do my laundry.

I’m already nervous about asking for too much from people. I know people have limits, but also fuck I need help. I’m trying to spread it around. And mostly I can do things myself, except for carrying garbage and laundry bags. I gotta wash some dishes and it might be hard to stand for that long to do it. I’m gonna take breaks if I need to.

Mostly I sit around on the internet with my leg up. I went to a meeting last night and saw some people and did some work. I have work tomorrow, I had to bow out of working this last Monday, but tomorrow I am going to a shoot to try and keep on top of my project. They are going to put me at a table with a monitor. Tonight I had to give away my L7 ticket, because it’s General Admission so there’s no seating, and I really really need to sit down. I went to Janelle Monae last week and it was general admission, and that was hard on me with perfectly fine non-fractured feet.

I tried to shower using a patio chair, but the legs kind of bent because the bathtub was too narrow, so it was kind of a death trap. Today I decided to stand on both feet without the boot in the shower, and it was actually fine. Like I couldn’t maneuver a whole bunch, BUT it still was way better than the chair, and I washed my butt better which was the important part.

I can feel my body isn’t happy with one bare foot and one in a boot. I think I have to wear a shoe or something to be more even, it’s not great for my hips.

Anyway, that was the big deal.

My friend M. has Borderline Personality Disorder and can be selfish at the best of times, but recently she went off her medication and she was being SO FUCKING SELFISH I could not deal, I had to stop talking to her for a while because I was so pissed off. I would say something about my busted foot and she would turn it into a story about her life. Ugh fuck. Oh man. I hope she goes back on her meds. Like it was a consistent pattern of turning things I was trying to talk about about my life into all these things she wanted to say about her life. And like, fuck! My foot is busted! My summer sucks now! I’ve got serious mobility issues and problems to solve. Like I can be cheerful about it, but it’s nice to be able to talk to someone about it and know they are going to listen, and not just tell me some totally non-serious story about their life that they are trying to equate to my struggles. Ugh. Like I can listen to people talk about their lives, but when they use me talking about something serious just to make it about themselves, that pisses me off.

Ha ha anyway. I’m gonna be okay, it’s several weeks of healing but not a really difficult thing to treat apparently. I’m looking forward to getting back to everyday activities though.