the letter you never read

I wanted to write you a letter.

I wanted to sit in the grass as you read it.

I wanted for you to hear me.

I wanted to tell you I’m sorry.

I wanted to tell you that I forgive you for all the hurt you brought upon us.

I wanted to tell you I forgive me for all the things I said that hurt you, and to ask that you can forgive me too.

I wanted to say that it’s ok, it’s ok to quit and walk away from it.

I wanted to tell you that no one would blame you.

I wanted to tell you that you don’t have to carry it alone.

I wanted to tell you that there is nothing you could say or do.

I wanted you to know that you can let your pride go.

I wanted to tell you this in person.

I wanted to sit with you in the grass again.

I wanted to look into your eyes for one more moment, just one.

I wanted you to know I’m over you.

I wanted you to know I still care.

I wanted to tell you that there is always a place in my heart for you.

I wanted for you to understand.

I wanted to tell you I loved you.

I wanted you to know how much it hurt.

I wanted you to know how long it took to heal.

I WANTED for you to understand.

I wanted to tell you how angry I was.

I wanted to tell you how much hate there was.

I wanted you to see it.

I wanted you to feel it.

I wanted you to hurt too.

I wanted you to see that it’s over.

I wanted you to know I’m ok.

I wanted you to see that I’m happy.

I wanted to tell you to be happy.

I wanted to tell you to fix your life.

I wanted you to be happy.

I wanted to tell you this.

I wanted to talk for hours.

I wanted to, but I can’t.