maybe without you

  There has been a lot of change the last few weeks. Jude’s sister died and I’m not sure where to go from here. He’s married and has been for a year and a half. Nate said he’s "never been happier" and I’m not sure why I can’t believe it. Is it my own vanity that is keeping me from letting go, or is it something else, I hope it’s something else. I an thankful I didn’t marry him, but I’m not sure how to feel about the other parts… I hate that I can’t talk to him because his wife stalks me and I’ve had to get the whole paperwork for a restraining order in the works, but …. yeah, but…. I just don’t know what I feel anymore.