Time has come today

Today I read something scary – that people who have diabetes amputations – toes, feet, legs – 50% die within 2 years.
My husband is going to have to have at least 1 or 2 toes amputated soon. He has been in severe pain, had surgery to place a stent in his artery and hopefully will have another one in soon to keep blood flowing in his right leg/foot. The doctors are not that encouraging.
But after reading that depressing prognosis, I already view him differently.  I know a lot of people deal with this – serious complications and even more serious terminal illness. We both turned 69 this year and I see people our age die frequently, and not just from Covid. I guess it just got more real. Also I slipped on the front step and fell hard on my back yesterday but I am okay – nothing lasting. I have fallen a couple of other times – no injuries. Just scary that it happens. I know accidents happen and people fall – but I don’t usually.
So I am going to have to figure out how to make the best of my situation. I still have 7 months to retirement. I work from home and my employer is generous with time off for family needs. We own our own home in a quiet neighborhood, car and truck in decent condition and have an adult daughter about 5 miles away. I am overweight, but otherwise apparently in good health, just some osteoarthritis and acid re flux both of which I take medication to keep symptoms in check.

Psychologically I am a glass-half-full person but I feel a lot more vulnerable and sad these days. My social network is almost non-existent. I have a couple of coworkers who care about me and have contacted me. My family consists of 5 people – my husband, daughter, sister-in-law and her roommate/partner/friend and myself.

I am not sure what to do – I’ll have to do some research I guess.


Log in to write a note
November 27, 2020

This entry not only gave me a Vietnam era earworm, but I found your thoughts about aging familiar. I am 72, Hubby is 78. Our doctors call us healthy because the health issues we have are well managed. Perhaps that is the standard at this age. I, too, fall down more than I used to.  It’s not the falling down that makes me feel fragile, it’s the difficulty in getting back up. It’s like being two years old again. And it’s not for sissy weasles!

November 27, 2020

I know. I hear the sound of the singer’s voice when it came to me – and the cowbell or whatever it is that he plays on the beat after. 60s music is actually a comfort to me most of the time. Our local oldies station has actually started play some of the ones a little deeper than just the top 40. It was album music, I don’t know why they don’t play from the albums more often.
It was such a mixed up era – I’m glad I wasn’t a parent then. How hard it must have been for our parents. Change can be painful, as we are finding out now.
I think something must have peaked yesterday for me – I’m a lot more calm or I guess it’s just acceptance of the situation with my husband and myself getting older.
I actually hopped right off the ground this last time I fell. For one thing I was in the front yard and it slopes down – in fact both times were in the front yard – so I didn’t want anyone to see me. Now if I Intentionally get on the floor to do something – then it is quite a fiasco in figuring out how to get up.
Thanks for commenting.