I’m going mad, Ted!!!!!!!!!

 I don’t usually resort to writing OD entries at work — especially not when I’m REALLY REALLY busy and do NOT have the time for this, but….

OMG. I am am just one itty bitty frayed nerve thread away from Losing.My.MIND.

It’s like Ted and Dougal in the camper (or caravan if you’re in the UK) with the insane youth leader (Graham Norton!) who WON’T SHUT UP. And of course I can’t embed this bit of hilarity and it’s also an awful quality video with subtitles that appear to be Russian, perhaps. And the part I am quoting is at the very end of the clip too, so even though it’s hilarious on its own it takes awhile to get to my point. 

"Ted. Ted. I’m going mad, Ted!"

And this whole senseless rant just illustrates how completely mad I"M going right now. 

And for once it’s not Aggravation Receptionist’s nonstop chatter. Well, it IS partially that, at least whenever there’s a break in the DRILLING THAT IS GOING ON RIGHT BESIDE MY HEAD.

Right the fuck beside my EAR on the other side of the concrete wall. Of course it’s not CONSTANT drilling. It gets very very quiet for a bit… like right now…. and I think, oh, they’re finished! They’re done!! It’s ……

BBBZZZZZZZZZBBBBBBBBBBBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZBBB!!!!!!!!!!

And I have jumped completely the fuck out of my skin so many times today that I am surprised my heart is still functioning. 

That is just in ADDITION to the pounding and banging and crashing of metal-y things and dropping of what sounds like a forklift full of …. FORKS…. really big ones. And hammering and sawing and and and AAAAAGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!

When we moved into this suite of offices last fall, they did a bunch of cosmetic work, including lowering the very tall ceilings and putting new lighting in all of the offices except Mr. Organized’s, the kitchen area, and the area where Miss Artsy sits. They ran out of money before getting those done. The dean vowed to have it finished as soon as we got our new budget. And tada!!! Now she’s found the money and it is being done. And it will look very very nice when it’s completed — the old ceilings were dark and filthy and had those old old lighting fixtures that look like big metal ice trays from the 1960s hung upside down. 

Oh, look, I took a picture before we moved in to illustrate how scary our offices were!

Miss Artsy has moved into the conference room and Mr. Organized moved into a vacant office at the far far end of our suites. LUCKY MR. ORGANIZED. Even Miss Artsy at least has a closed door between her and the madness. There is no door between our offices and the area that’s being renovated- just a plastic sheet of … sheeting.. with holes in it. Where Aggravation Receptionist sits, so she has had it worse than me today. Until the drilling beside my head started. 

Miss Artsy and Mr. Organized have no phone access, so I’m having to be AR’s receptionist backup, adding another layer of madness. Because I am without a doubt the worst receptionist EVER and if I can transfer a call without cutting the caller off, it’s a major miracle. I also never know where anyone is and can’t remember the name the caller just told me for a quarter of a second. And AR didn’t come in until  past 10 because she’s having therapy on her bunion-surgery foot (from last September, for fuck sake! And they are apparently giving her medicine through electrodes attached to her foot — what does that even MEAN??) so I kind of thought she’d, oh, NOT go to lunch, so I wouldn’t end up being the ONLY damned receptionist for OVER THREE HOURS, but no. Of course she has to go to lunch too. Which, on the positive side, does mean she’s not here yakking at me. 

This is going to be going on for at LEAST the rest of the week. 

My nerves are completely shot, my head is killing me, and my allergies are being a bitch so I had to wear my glasses and for some reason I can NOT see out of them. No idea what is up with THAT, they are practically brand new but are Old Lady Bifocals so I don’t usually wear them out in the Real World. Maybe I’m just not used to seeing anything with them that’s outside my livingroom. And I feel like Miss Frumpy 2012 because my glasses and my hair, both of which are perfectly fine alone, somehow together manage to morph into Most Unbecoming Static-filled Limp and Mousy and Four-Eyed Look EVER.  

Oh, look. It’s pouring rain. Because it’s finally FINALLY almost time for me to get the hell out of here and go to lunch. And it’s thundering. And there’s the lightening! I’d certainly hate to NOT wear my glasses and have it pour rain so I can’t see even more of a damned thing than I already can’t see. 

To TRY and insert a LITTLE positive note, here’s what I was seeing outside my window before the pouring rain started: 

A not-very-good phone picture, but…. LEAVES!!! The trees are getting leaves!!! Very very early but at least by now they’re beyond getting killed if it freezes again. I hope. Unlike my wisteria, which was just starting to bloom like mad last week… and now all the blooms are dead. I’m sure they won’t come back. But it often gets killed when the buds start, so at least I got to see the beginnings of blooms. 

Ok. Time to get out of here. I swear I will catch up with everyone soon. If I live through this.