Is it safe to come out, now?

I think its finally somewhat okay. So, to write all this down and to be sure, i think it goes as far as after his moms death, and so Im going to say overall, 3 months of this shit.

Depression, mid December he started taking his meds properly.

His stomach hurt, he had hives…. ya idk about all that, might have done another bump, too.

But he wont ever admit it and I’ll never ask anymore.

And what follows that is crying spells, but its also understandable that his mom died, too.

Thats a very hard thing to deal with and I believe really triggered it.

2 weeks of an okay time, no arguments, nothing.

Can’t be too sure, though. He wasnt doing it right, then and having all kinds of episodes in the meantime.

If only, right?

So, after that, was hypomania…. And I’m saying that, because of how passionate he got with me, and xmas, he was angry and triggered and tried to set the house on fire by lighting up a box and the couch, because he was so passionate for me, because he felt excluded when i brought the xmas gifts downstairs and didn’t tell him. And the ring he bought me. How he kept staring at me, and staring.

Then more accusations, and then he was okay for awhile.

And then he went into mania.


The thing is he KNOWS he’s in mania.

And absolute madness this past weekend.

Today, he woke me up gently to ask me a question, was polite with me too. I engaged as little as possible but a few hours later finally broke down

and told him where i was. I had a flat tire, and then got it looked at to fix. And then got an estimate.

Tuesday it needs to go in, but how the heck Im gonna get it there, I don’t know…. yet. I don’t think that he liked that i had other dudes look at my car, and take it to places without him and get opinions from men about something HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN DOING ALL ALONG! 650 to fix it.

I gotta do what i gotta do.

In the meantime, hes gone to put a new spark plug in, because its missing.

He’ll see.







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February 11, 2021

Whoa… 😮