Yeah, Yeah, Yeah…

I know. There’s no video today. WAIT! DON’T GO! I will post vids again! I PROMISE!
 
I’ve been shamefully spending money lately. Suddenly I think that I’m the government; if there’s a problem, throw money at it.
 
When Hitfilm Ultimate special effects video editing software came out, I wanted it. I REALLY REALLY wanted it. However, at $400 a pop I couldn’t justify it. And then one fateful day I got an email from FXHome, the makers of Hitfilm, saying that for a limited time, one of their resellers was lowering the price of Hitfilm Ultimate to $200. “OMG!”
 
I actually screamed that out loud. Not “oh my god”, but “OMG”. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m trendy like that. What? Spelling OMG out isn’t trendy but passé? Yeah, yeah, yeah… See what I did there?
 
So I whipped out my credit card like a six shooter in a Clint Eastwood spaghetti western movie and bought that that mo-fo online. I love the instant-download! Can you say “the cloud”?
 
I love the term “the cloud”. When I was in high school the cloud referred to the atmosphere out in the smoking lounge. And if you don’t know what a high school smoking lounge is, then you’re too young to understand me.
 
When I downloaded my brand new Hitfilm Ultimate I was ecstatic. I could hardly wait to install it on my work laptop, being that it was newer than my personal laptop. When it said that it was done installing, it asked me if I wanted to launch it. “Yes please!” *click*
 
First the loading splash screen launched. “This is going to be cool!” … An error message punched my computer screen in the face. ‘You must have a newer version of OpenGL.’ “What the hell?” *click* Hitfilm closed down, denying me. “NOOOOOO!” I screamed, crumpling to the floor like Wolverine when Jean Grey died. SPOILER ALERT!
 
I did searches upon searches on Google as to, one, what exactly was OpenGL and b, what did I have to do to update OpenGL. As it turned out, OpenGL was 3-D rendering video driver software which Intel was going away from using. I was fucked. Both my work and personal laptops had on-board Intel graphics cards. Daddy was not a happy camper.
 
So how did I propose to resolve this issue? I bought a new laptop. It has NVidia GForce 540M graphics card with 1 GB onboard memory! BOOYAH! (Powered by a 2.40GHz 2nd Generation Intel Core i5-2430M CPU, 4GB DDR3 RAM, an NVIDIA GeForce GT 540M with 1GB of dedicated DDR3 VRAM, and a 500GB HDD.)
 
I once again downloaded Hitfilm and started to install it. Jaws music was playing in the back ground. “Who’s playing that music?!” Done installing. ‘Launch Hitfilm?’ “Yes please!” ‘You must have a newer version of OpenGL.’ “NOOOOOO!” Wolverine cried a single tear.
 
I was devastated. Money wasted. Dreams crushed. Life was over. Well, the Jaws music in my head was over, anyway. That’s good because I wasn’t even in the mood for grilled shark stakes.
 
I spent days of messing with the new laptop, doing Google searches reading reams of tech pages, and surfing porn… What? I don’t even know that is! Ahem.
 
After piddling with the setting on my sparkling new laptop, I found a GForce graphics manager app. I messed with that for several minutes before I noticed a tab that had an application add section. “What is this?” I added Hitfilm to the list and click Apply. “What’s the worst that can happen?” I launched Hitfilm. Splash screen… My heart raced. “If I get that error message again, I’m going to…” No error message. ‘Welcome to Hitfilm’ “YES!!! HAHA! I AM A GOD!!!!” The sea parted. Sun beams luminated my laptop and the world was right once more.
 
The moral to this story is throwing money at a problem can help, but being extremely lucky while messing around with settings is the key to happiness. That and porn. NO! I mean… I don’t even know that is! Ahem.

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