And so this is the end….

 I’m glad OD is up and I can write this last entry (in Chrome?! I haven’t been able to write an entry in Chrome in months)
I’ve downloaded my old entries, in a couple different formats. I’ll hold onto them…I might want to put them somewhere, someday.
I read a few the other day….I’m struck by how short, light, happy they are at the beginning. Those days when I’d just started college as a pre-med biology major. It’s good to remember. But hard.

Biology and I didn’t work out. Which is okay. I’m not going to have an MD, but I’m writing a dissertation proposal in public health now, so I will one day be "Dr. Davidson." Although, I guess I should figure out what to do with my last name. I’ve been married nearly three years and I’m still not sure.

OD has been there this whole time….when an unforgettably dear high school friend committed suicide, sending my whole life into a tailspin, when my husband and I fell in love, when I got sick….it’s been a lot of life. I love this place, it’s the little corner of the internet I always ran to when I needed an answer, when I needed to send my feelings out into the void of the internet without the fear of my real-life friends’ reactions. And yet, paradoxically, there were secrets I told in this space that I somehow mustered up the courage to tell others. I can talk about my mother and her death, my family dysfunction, the violence in my home during the years my father was a single dad because of OD. I found courage here, and I found a voice.

I’ll probably copy and paste this to Prosebox…..I am foolishathena there too, if you haven’t found me in some other way yet.
I don’t have high hopes for Prosebox, to be honest. It’s just not OD. But. I have found many of my favorites there, and I’d like to continue keeping up with you. You can search for me on Facebook- Charis Davidson. That’ll take you to my work FB account, since I’m a pretty private person except for here, but I’ll see you and connect.

And I guess the void of the internet is going to swallow this diary of mine. I think, I hope, I’ve taken what I’ve needed from here, and can move on to whatever’s next.