Brain versus heart. Does the brain seem to always be the loser? This mysterious blob of gray and white matter filled with electrical I’m pulses that controls everything we do physically and emotionally. It’s still such a mystery in so many ways, even to those who understand it down to a molecular level. People way smarter than me. There was something profound about seeing a living brain for the first time. The scalp incised, held back by clips. The skull flap removed, the dura Mater peeled back revealing this delicate organ that is so soft, so malleable looking, but is the very thing that controls us. The thing about the brain is: it’s like the heart. It beats. It pulses with a rhythm that you can imagine, while watching it beat, matches the beat of the owner’s heart. Perhaps the heart and Brain are so in sync, so intertwined, that trying to choose one over the other to make decisions for you seems fruitless. I know that the heart is only metaphorically the seat of emotion in some cultures, but the irony that they both beat with electrical impulses is poetic to me. It gives such a physicality to the visceral idea of heart versus brain. I have so much to unpack about myself…about my relationship to this world. My relationships to the people I love. Ive allowed my brain to overcome my heart so many times by putting up mental blocks to protect myself from deep-seeded pain, but the heart fights back hard and brings these hard pangs of heavy feelings and questions. Pangs of guilt, whether I’m deserving of it or not. So maybe in the end..the intertwining of the heart and brain, the rhythmic electrical synchronicity is exactly what needs to exist to be able to heal.