#healing

This entry begins the healing and unraveling of a 20 year "marriage"-but as I reflect, it wasn't a marriage, it wasn't a partnership; those require give and take, love and respect, sacrifice, forgiveness, grace....it was a dumpster waiting to combust and catch fire. •Key Players You're Gonna Wann...

It's 11:07pm and Iam currently sitting in bed with a lavender heat pack wrapped around my neck, listening to Bilateral Stimulation music (soft BLS tones), with a true crime documentary eating popping candy. Ive had 2 minor anxiety attacks today, in between my attacks I feel fantastic. calm and re...

If you haven’t read "Intro to the OC Chapters", I highly recommend starting there for some background on the events and emotions shared in these chapters. OC's mother (we'll call her MC for "Mother of my Children") and I had been together since 2004 and were married in 2006. OC and her younger br...

This is a series of chapters where I will be unfolding a deeply personal story that has shaped who I am today. It is my sincere hope that through the telling of this story, I can find some level of peace with the events that transpired and perhaps reconcile with myself for the person I…

"imagine yourself unafraid. you have no doubts, no worries, no fears of the unknown. the things you used to worry about do not exist. write about what you would do if this was the case. what would do you if you weren't afraid?"  i would be more social. i would go to parties; meet more…

I would have to say I'm a pretty lucky girl, or rather forget the word lucky; blessed. You see there's this entire world out there, full of people of different backgrounds, different cultures and traditions, and a lot of them haven't heard about something that most of us can't imagine not knowing...

... and tonight I'm drowning... I want to be happy... but I don't know how to fix myself. I've learned to sit with my feelings and hurt for a while and then move on when they are over, but lately it seems like there are too many and I'm not better off than months ago.…

(1) YOUR HOUSE  paid twenty dollars for a small pizza total heartbreak diva a hurt smile like the mona lisa i put it all on my visa you kept me around because it was fun no remorse, for the feelings you left undone my head spun now that it’s over I’ll wish it never begun…

This Mother’s Day I was holding out some hope that my sisters might send me a message or call me, but they didn’t. Being kicked aside by my family when they’ve been the center of my whole existence is the most painfully lonely thing I’ve ever experienced. The good news is I’ve moved past the…