#healing

I had a beautiful day today! The most beautiful part is that nothing particularly special happened, but I'm still so very happy. I finally feel consistent peace and satisfaction, joy even. I love my son so much. We have a nice routine. My husband is so supportive and kind. He offered to let me sl...

This chapter is an open letter to myself. In the future, I hope I find you well rested. I know it’s hard to understand the meaning of rest — it sometimes feels impossible to slow down. In times like these I want you to remember when we lit the match of self love. When we…

Take me down to the river bend. I want to take a look at my reflection in the water and see if you’re still in it. Maybe the current will create waves high enough for me to meet you there. I see them in my dreams at night when I close my eyes and you’re…

For weeks I have been crying every day, but today, more than ever, I feel alone and defeated. DEFEATED is the right word and it is also painful. To make things worse, my tooth broke! Now I am laughing, but I guess is despair. I don't know from where to start. Maybe from the beginning.…

How do learn to love again? After you married someone who didn't know how to love you. How do trust again? After you rekindle a fire with a man who lays you down and tells you he wants a life with you, but then he goes home to a family that you thought he'd separated…

Hey it’s me again, I missed you. I really did. I want to say I’m sorry but I don’t really know why I’m sorry. For agreeing to end things with you or for not fighting enough. I’ve held on for far too long it hurts to see you not bothered. How consumed you are by…

My Iron Lobster is now a Spotify playlist too. 9 more days and the dissolution will be final, taking back my innocence, legally. I am keeping my married name for my daughter and because that is a lot of paperwork; Ill change it when I remarry. My Aunt has been away out of state, she…

So, this 1 message was received by my soon to be ex-husband; he called all by himself like big boy and scheduled an appointment for us to see a marriage therapist. I received the message too, I appreciated being included in that message, my ex seemed to forget to include me sometimes. I will call...

I guess we have to be able to name our feelings in order to be able to fully feel and process them. When you were never shown how to recognize and name feelings growing up, the journey to name them and let them out - rather than shove them down - feels next to impossible…

6:32am Final dump for a while. Like I mentioned in my last past, these memories play in my head like images or a short clip. Tonight has been a very active one for uninvited memories. My therapist told me to journal when I have memories from growing up that keep me from sleeping. This is…