Spiritual Awakening and Growth

I would have to say I’m a pretty lucky girl, or rather forget the word lucky; blessed. You see there’s this entire world out there, full of people of different backgrounds, different cultures and traditions, and a lot of them haven’t heard about something that most of us can’t imagine not knowing about. That concept is christianity.

 I could go on and explain why Jesus Christ is our savior and tell his amazing story, but chances are if you’re reading this, you’re already familiar with Him. However, did you know there are still parts of the world that have never even heard of his existence? I did not know this until recently. When I heard the term “mission trip”, I always assumed we were talking about conversion, not starting from scratch and teaching of an unknown savior to us all. 

But this is what I’m saying, I’m very blessed. If you live your whole life assuming everyone is familiar with Jesus, how could you be anything but blessed. He was always a part of my life, and I always knew he was just a thought away. Therein lies a problem, however, and that’s what led me to this journal. When you grow up knowing he’s always there, sometimes you begin to spiritually go through the motions without actively connecting. I think of this as hibernation, and up until recently I definitely was guilty of sleeping away my spirituality. 

We live in a time where everything is so fast paced, and so much information is literally at our fingertips at all times. We are constantly surrounded with an overwhelming amount of information to sift through, down to minute details like what our 8th grade teacher ate for lunch, or what color our aunt painted her nails at the salon. Its a constant, neverending web of distraction. 

Really, only so much of this can be considered our fault. The devil is a manipulator, and when we are collectively focused on the right things, it’s really hard to create lost sheep for his gain, but when everyone in the flock is distracted, there’s no longer a flock to break apart. It seems as years progress sinful distractions become more and more socialized to the point that sin is idolized in the form of models walking in underwear, constant lustful messages on TV shows, the destruction of the nuclear family being pushed to make room for alternative lifestyles, and even fashion changing to offend God. But when you are a kid and reading the bible seems like an old person thing to do, you fall into the flow of the world, and that’s what i did. 

You see when you’re living for the world nothing seems inherently bad except for obvious hate crimes. Short shorts seem like no big deal because everyone else is doing it, going on runs in only a sports bra for your shirt for the whole world to see seems standard and ok bc it’s hot outside, listening to music full of profanities and sinful messages is no big deal because it’s just a song, it’s not your life, and missing church every once in a while isn’t a big deal because you can always go next week, and you aren’t hurting anyone. But this is where Satan deceives us. We are hurting someone. We are hurting ourselves.

 We have fallen for the lie that if no one gets hurt its not a sin, but anxiety rates, detachment disorders, depression, suicide rates, self harm, eating disorders, insomnia, and a sleuth of other psychological disorders are constantly rising for our youth. You see, the farther we get from God, the more our souls suffer, and the more we look for ways to fix ourselves without finding a true purpose to fulfill us. Good news! I know your purpose, and it’s so much simpler than you think. Your purpose is to be a child of God, to cultivate a personal relationship with Him, to accept Jesus as your savior, to try not to sin, to repent when you do, and for bonus points, to spread His love to others. It’s pretty simple, yet the devil has convinced us our purpose is material things and status, not spiritual wealth. 

We were not made to compete against one another, but rather to love one another. Satan has told you your worth is based on your worldly accomplishments to distract you from the fact that by being created, God gave you inherent worth as his child, and your purpose is for him, not for the world. It isn’t until we learn the self control to trust God’s plan over our wants, that we will ever feel fulfilled. To state it simply, His will be done, above any of your wants, and you will never fail. To make it simpler, failing is only possible if you lose your eternity to satan. You cannot fail if your eternity is through Jesus Christ.

I began to wake up from my worldly hibernation when I became pregnant with my daughter. This is when I realized that God gave me a wonderful gift, and for me to take care of this gift properly, I needed to be the model for her on how to be close to him. Now on paper I probably looked pretty great. I was a cradle Catholic, I wore my cross, I said the rosary sometimes, I tried to follow lenten rules, and I tried to make mass every week. I even acted as lector during some masses. But God felt so far away. Unreachable even.

 I have never for a moment waived in faith, but I have forgotten to utilize it many times, trusting on my own abilities to handle situations rather than reaching to him for help. Going through the motions at church to keep up appearances and make my family proud. I wasn’t a stranger to prayer either, but still my relationship was hollow. This is because I spent most of my time in a secular world leading a secular life, and flipping the switch on occasion wasnt enough for me to know God. 

My ancestors and elders always woke up early, said daily rosaries, never missed masses, read the bible daily, and had a set of prayers to say at different times of the day. I remember being pregnant and thinking that’s what I needed to do to feel closer and be a good influence on my child as she grows. As I started to read scripture and pray more, I started to realize there were a lot of things in my life that I needed to work on or give up altogether to truly follow Him, and that was hard. It still is. You see, there’s no perfect answer except God. You can’t quit all of your sin overnight and never fail again, only the Holy Spirit can achieve that. But actively asking the Holy Spirit to intervene in your life and live inside you does change you overtime. I started with a prayer for empathy, because I knew that I struggled with this when it came to those close to me. I went from being hard and calloused, to crying at the smallest things, and being so emotionally moved by happy things, and having strength through the hard things. Then I began praying for answers on how to handle some of the more confusing social issues in the world today, and answers were revealed over time. Most recently it’s been prayers to help with anxiety and not managing it through compulsive shopping. Progress is slow, but there. You can never fix everything at once, so start small and build on. In the end it will be worth it because a healthy soul is the most precious thing to attain. So this week, from one sinner to another, I urge you to pick one bad habit to pray to the Holy Spirit to help you overcome, and actively try to be better. Start small sisters and brothers, for faith as small as a mustard seed can move mountains.