#mentalhealth

I am finding out so much more about myself  through therapy and introspection. One thing I’ve uncovered through research  and talking with my therapist is that I was misdiagnosed. I was diagnosed with Bi Polar 2 disorder originally after only sitting down with a psychiatrist for 30 min. Now I fin...

Me myself & I Dear diary  Before my breakdown. My life was good, I had been married 10 years, my husband is Tom. We have one child together, but I had three previous children that Tom took on as his own. We had a new car. Nice house. To top it off we managed a…

To state the obvious, I want to be the real me.  I don't want any more lies, deceit or, cover-ups.  I spent 15 years hiding my true identity.  I want to be authentic, real, and accepted.  The cruel part is...I don't even know who that person is.  Honestly, I have no idea where to begin.…

This recovery is long  I feel like I haven’t  moved from this bedroom in a decade or two  Grasping the doorknob with White knuckled intentions, personal sabotage  planned before my curfew   Impatient for the day  my feet agree  to run, we risk scaling the walls  just to see and feel sun. I s...

So I’ve been doing pretty good for awhile now at not eating after 7pm and most days I usually only eat one meal cuz my sleep schedule is so messed up rn. I’m wide awake at night and then I sleep in. Takes me a few hours or more after waking to feel hungry or…

Just writing this entry to let all the people who might come across my journal and be offended, disturbed or triggered....I am sorry. Please just don’t ready my entries. Honestly I only came back to this site to journal my daily struggles in life And to try and help myself and let out my emotions...

These are images of my self destruction  first image was of me contemplating cutting myself  superficial cuts cuz i was down and not thinking clearly. 2nd picture was taken about an hour later as I impulsively cut myself too deep for comfort. Third pic was taken while I was on the phone after cal...

This feeling inside Won’t go away eating me alive day after day! I wish it gone It never works  happy thoughts, it always lurks! The pain’s just there Fighting to stay take my last breath And have it’s way! I try and I try It never ends Wanna give up made my amends forgive my…

Woohoo. I was down another pound today which made my very happy and excited and able to get through the day. Yes started restricting again or rather not eating after 7pm and I’ve lost a total of 7lbs since May 11th. My bmi was at the brink of the overweight category so I needed to…

I’ve got a ways to go but I’ll get there. My lowest weight at 5’4 was 95lbs. Oh how I wish I would have appreciated my body then. I used to think I was fat at that weight. Wish I could go back in time and just appreciate my body. I’ve come to the conclusion…