#mentalhealth

So I have taken to meditation every night before bed. I have noticed that is effecting my dreams, whatever the music is aimed at working on that night reflects in my dreams.   This amazes me.   #meditationworks #Mentalhealth #Amazing

So I have been working on myself lately. It's been deep, insightful and exciting. I am manifesting success in my life and kicking goals out of the water but I was thinking of the things that I would do to myself to "deflect" my own power and I realized something HUGE. In the past I…

The thoughts that run through my head They are sometimes negative. They are mostly positive now Then the doubt creeps in, XYZ person doesn't like you. That message went unanswered because they hate you. They refuse your help or kindness because your useless. I feel these doubts, I push down and s...

I like to think that I come from a place of 'glass half full' and look at things from a positive spin rather than falling into the easy trap of being negative. I've been studying and practicing Buddhism since 2007 and have been actively meditating that whole time. And due to a very dear friend's&...

I am excited to be writing here on OpenDiary again, though the impetus is somewhat unfocused. I do miss the solidarity of the OD community (circa the early 2000s), but the writing and the reflection that journaling requires is sometimes an emotional terrain that is hard to wade through. I have be...

I don't know why I'm so anxious about medication and  my body. I'm somewhat educated on disease processes and symptoms of them. I keep lying down and feeling short of breath, I am so depressed that I honestly can only tell you I know that by my (non satisfiable) feeling. I continuously search for...

“Anybody remotely interesting is mad, in some way or another.” ~Dr. Who When I tell someone about my illness for the first time it frequently elicits the following reaction: "YOU?  DEPRESSED?  You're always so bubbly and happy!!"   My response: "You don't see me during the depressive episodes whe...

“Are you a psychopath or a sociopath?” ~Title of recent Michael Savage podcast's interview with neuroscientist Dr. James Fallon When I heard Michael Savage (longtime radio personality who has multiple degrees and a doctorate in epidemiology - fascinating man) announce the title for a recent podca...

Ana and Mia continue to rise…I’m not complaining, they’re making me feel strong in some twisted sense. I know it’s not healthy, but nor is the extra weight that I’m carrying, so why not let them run riot and use it to my advantadge. There’s something so satisfying in being able to beat the hunger...

TRIGGER WARNING : This entry is full of graphic descriptions regarding Self Harm and Eating Disorders.     So...things have changed somewhat and I feel the need to do a whole big thing, like an op-ed to myself, and all of you about it. This academic year has been a complete mind-fuck; h...