Kicking Clutch and Mashing Gas

This Morning:
I was super emotional this morning. I listened to “Cut the Line” by Papa Roach a couple of times, then moved onto “The Ending” also by them. I couldn’t sing along to that song without tears and my voice breaking up. I’m realizing how much of an emotional guy I am to the point at times it’s hard to contain. I was a little snippy last night with my coworker, who said “time to go!” and my response was, “not for me! I have…” and rattled off some things I needed to do. I’m under quite a bit of stress at work but that doesn’t give me levity to be an a$$hat so I apologized this morning.

Being inundated at work also played a huge role in not making the rounds here last week.

Now, why so emotional to THAT song? Well, it became paramount in my life during the waiting period after filing for divorce last year. It became final one year ago on the 29th. It’s honestly the first time I’ve shed tears over the whole thing… unless being thankful for friends housing me last year and tearing up while expressing that gratitude counts. That was more about being thankful for friends more than my marriage dissolving. Then it made me wonder if I’m just someone that’s waiting for feelings to catch up to me? Honestly, I think it was more about the growth made in the past year and the gratitude to be FREEEEEEEEE! I did 100mph on the freeway and launched from the last stop light. Good times.

I had a date with whom I will refer to as NFJAries last week, Tuesday. It was about two and a half hours of walking and then sitting on a beautiful evening around a local lake and park. I did an odd thing a few times. There were moments in the conversation where I reached over and caressed a shoulder. I do this when I connect with someone emotionally. I did this with my uncle earlier in the month at my grandfather’s 90th birthday celebration. I usually prefer to not be touched nor do any touching except with someone I’m in a committed relationship with… except hugs, I will gladly take an opening and closing hug. I suppose it means I feel connected. The conversation wandered and at times touched on things already discussed via text. I don’t recall much a week and a half later. Due to her moving and active social calendar there hasn’t been a second date.

Married at First Sight:
I’ll leave off with… watching Married at First Sight. I would totally do this show. I also wondered if someone keen to type people via MBTI, Cognitive Functions, or Astrology would have better luck than “professional match-makers.” What’s glaring to me is the way they’re communicating. I’m not sure if it’s just the most recent season but it seems like they did awful in matching people who communicate in a compatible way. To define this further from my perspective:

T and F along with J and P in MBTI, but in OP it’s simpler with the cognitive functions of Te (extroverted Thinking) and Fe (extroverted Feeling) and the modalities, M or F (masculine or feminine). F-Fe is the most conflict avoidant while M-Te is the most direct in communication. To use one of the couples, Meekah and Michael. She is very much the archetype of M-Te: Her communication is very direct and to the point. There’s not a lot of emotional depth being put out into the world. Michael is very F-Fe. He’s telling fibs because he knows what Meka values someone who is a high-wage earner in turn with knowing turning down a job that would’ve paid better simply because it didn’t feel right would not sit well. He’s deflecting on the values with dishonesty rather than owning it with M-Ti (Introverted thinking). She’s likely some sort of xSTJ while he’s ESFJ. The only ones that seem to communicate in a similar way is Austin and Jessica.

Hope everyone will have or has had a great holiday weekend (here in North America between Canada Day and Independence Day)!

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July 5, 2022

I watched a season or 2 of  Married at First Sight and wonder what the criteria of how they do matchmaking.

I also think someone who has knowledge of mbti or astrology would be a good matchmaker.


I don’t think I’d ever go on that show :/

July 5, 2022

@anhmymuminah my perception is that it’s based on common traits, similar to eHarmony. I thought that Dr. Pepper Schwartz played a role in the eHarmony test but didn’t find that in cursory research I did a couple of weeks ago.

I believe so too, as long as the person isn’t too rigid in their application of those disciplines. I love to suggest from my understanding plusses and minuses but I’m far from fixed on my opinion. There’s also a lot of nurture to learn and understand about a person. It might be hard to separate the person from the theory.

July 8, 2022

I also watched Married At First Sight.  What kept hitting me as I watched was how little most of the people actually heard when their spouse spoke to them.  The lack of actual successful communication was cringe worthy and I felt stress as a bystander just watching it!  Plus, the amount of unresolved personal issues and trauma these people clearly are still carrying around – they are all so caught up with their own stuff they barely even saw the person they married standing in front of them.  It just seemed like a lot of people being impatient and immediately defensive with each other.  And yet I couldn’t stop watching!