Today has been a good day. After  a horrible night.   We had a four day weekend in which we sat around and did nothing but watch tv and hang out.  It was nice, but last night my self esteem took another epic plunge and I started judging myself again.  I started to resent dancing and the way it has made me feel since having Brendon.  I feel that everyone is so much more critical and less appreciative of what they used to be.

After last night I was pretty much sworn off dancing forever but I know I would regret that. I need to get back to the passion of things though and focus less on the duty of making money with it.   That brings me to today. I got up and said I needed  to find a job serving again because as annoying as it was I miss it and the getting out of the house thing. We never truly realize how much we appreciate a day off until every day is a day off when you’re not working and you are bored to death. Starting school in January might make the schedule feel a bit crammed but since when should that be a problem for me? haha excuse me while I laugh at the misery which I am setting myself up for. I saw on craigslist that there was a posting for lone star steakhouse. Its not a restaurant I would ideally have chosen to work at in the past but I do know that on weekends they are in a prime location and are busy there. I went in to apply and got an interview on the spot like I am used to restaurants doing. Not this newfangled online BS where you don’t even get to meet the person to see if you like them. Trust me I look a whole lot less impressive on paper than I do in person.   The guy who interviewed me seems pretty uptight and strict but that is nothing that I am not familiar with. Anything is better than at FMS. He said that he needs servers pretty bad because the ones he had recently quit when he started because he ran them out. At least he was honest.   I just want the extra money and so I can buy Chadley a christmas gift and ease his strain of having to pay all the bills.  Will be nice. Anyways I get so sidetracked when I talk or type whatever…he told me that he would call me later tonight if they wanted a second interview but if not it would mean they are not interested. I waited and two hours later I got my call back to go WEDS and meet with the GM. I think  that means I got the job because I interview fairly well.

Hopefully I am doing all the right things and making the right choices. Chad has been great support to me though, and even Joe is lightening up when it comes to the way he’s been treating me. Things are finally going in a smooth direction. Hopefully things work out at lone star and they like me because they even mentioned cross training me to work as a bartender if I do well enough as a server. This is my time to really give it my all and prove my worth. Who knows.

Chad is starting to talk about wedding stuff, I just wish I had the ring so I could make it official to the rest of my family.

Tomorrow the speech evaluator for Brendon will be at the house. I am nervous to see what  they have to say. Hopefully they will tell me that the services aren’t needed and that he is coming along nicely. 

Neva was upset that Gene was out at the strip club two weekends in a row trying to see me dance. She was ranting on fb about it and going crazy until she found out it was to see me then was chill> she thought that he had a crush on another dancer. But I didn’t see Gene eitehr time because I didn’t end up working and thats why he went back the next weekend thinking I might be there.  She was crying and all crazy style going nuts until I said that.  They have such a strange relationship anyways..not dating but not really allowed to date other people either.

Brendon is watching Charlie Brown, and I’ve had Starbucks this week….must be holiday time.

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