Short Hair

short hair
so easy
nothing to prove

i am me
however long my hair
however blushing pink my lips
however stern my glasses
i am me

i thought i needed infinite doses of approval

why

because i did not feel that i had a right to approve of me
that i did not have the worth to judge myself worthy

this turns into needy self-centeredness, cloaked in false humility

false humility
because when i am so hard and abandoning and rejecting of myself
i expect someone else to take care of me
because i can’t or won’t

why is it anyone’s job to take care of me
if i won’t do it myself

hmmm
feel so relaxed to let go of this and a lot of other crap

smiling