Is She Really An Option?

Hi guys, I know many are asleep right now but this couldn’t make me sleep, lost my wife mid last year and I’m still trying to keep up, but this my ex won’t stop trying to fit in, and she once caused a little trouble between me and my wife when she was alive, and now she’s trying to get my attention and wanting me to give her an opportunity.

I haven’t given her any yet, still just ignoring her.

But I guess we’re friends here one way or the other, so I hope to get opinions.


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June 7, 2021

Only my own experience here, but the only way another person should be an option is if they love and care for you unconditionally. Causing trouble doesn’t sound like care. Love is loving you and respecting you and wanting what’s best for you and caring for you, and you doing the same back. (Married for 12 years to someone who didn’t care for me. Now with someone who does and it’s life changing. Good people are out there.)

June 7, 2021

Ditch her. 🙁

June 7, 2021

She doesn’t sound like that great an option to me but you have to go with how you feel. 

June 7, 2021

My thought? Take it slow. You are still grieving. It’s easy to jump into things that are inadvisable when you are fraught with other emotions. My Mom almost made a terrible mistake with Dad’s life insurance when a salesman came to her house after Dad passed and wanted to sell her a 10-year annuity instead of paying out the insurance money. Mom is too smart for that, but she was leaning toward doing it until she asked what I thought. Anyway, a new relationship could be good comfort wise, but may not be what you need right now. Sending you healing thoughts.

June 7, 2021

The following has been said TO me numerous times, and I like to keep it in the back of my mind. This person is your ex for a reason. And the other adage goes a little something like, “Don’t look back, you’re not going that way.”

Your ex sounds like a manipulative opportunist. I would personally block her.

Welcome to my friend’s list, I mean shit show. LOL.

June 7, 2021

Grief is super weird and will trick you into things.

Be very clear with your thinking here, and ask yourself what it is you need from allowing this person back into your life at this particular moment.  And why they want to be there.


i’m so sorry for your loss. i was widowed a year ago this month. It’s a lot.


June 11, 2021

Don’t jump into anything, and always keep in mind that exes are exes for a reason. In 99% of cases, it’s not a good idea to start something up for a second go round. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

June 11, 2021

@caria Hi Carina, thank you for your thoughts, I’m still working on it and didn’t want to jump into it thats why I threw the word out for advice
Appreciate your time to share opinion
You’re awesome.

June 19, 2021

I am so sorry your wife is dead.And if you EX just wants to mess everything up.Or regrets doing something bad.And think every body will drop it.No.You don’t have to do that if you want to.You can say no.

June 22, 2021

@starsaphire7 thank you so much I appreciate, and I’m getting over it all now.

Thanks for your opinion

July 27, 2021

Definitely a hard NO…. If they’re in your past its because they weren’t supposed to be in your future. They were there to teach you a lesson, there for a season… So you learn from that relationship and push forward…. Keep on keepin on…. 😊