90’s 90210

I grew up watching Beverley Hills 90210- I was only 8 in 1990.   But I lived in New Zealand so I think by the time it made it to NZ I must have been at least 11 of 12, I recall watching at least seasons 1-5 before I moved on to something else.

Clearly, with Luke Perry passing away this week, this had got me thinking about those times.  I do remember watching this show a little 11 year old me and thinking, I can’t wait to get into high school and date boys and have friends like what I saw in that show.

I wasn’t the pretty girl in high school- I was the fat girl. Or well a little bit chubby girl at least back then. I went to all girls school, but we did hang out with boys.   And at 16/17 i had my own click of guy friends..   As I sit here at 36 I wonder what they are doing.  I miss their friendships.

Over the years I have done things that perhaps I shouldn’t have.  I got over-involved or injected myself into situations so I could be part of the drama

And now I think what I was doing was trying to play out friendships like I saw on TV,  It sounds so insane.  But my moral code was based on what I saw on this TV show.   I thought that friendships could and would be like that.

One of my guy friends looked like Jason Priestley, and as I rewatch Beverley hills 90210- I can’t help but think of him. And how much I really loved that friendship

His name was Alex – You see in my late 20’s he was living in Melbourne and I was living in Sydney.  He has this new girlfriend and met her a handful of times, and Alex and I talked all the time.   to cut a long story short…  she has called me and told me he was drinking to much and then he had hit her. And she asked for my help, so I called him and said do you want my help…or do you want me to ignore this.   As teenagers Alex had told me that his dad was a major alcoholic, and so were his two older brothers and that he never wanted to end up like that.

So after 7 hours on the phone with him, I talked him into telling his mother that needed help and to go to rehab.  I offered to fly him to Sydney so he could detox.   But then he changed his mind.  And he told me that I had over involved myself in his life and that he didn’t have a problem.  And he never wanted to speak to me again.

I am not sure what happened after that –  but no doubt I didn’t just leave it at that,  I am sure I tried to ‘solve’ the problem by telling my other guy friends to talk to him.  I think I then talked to his now ‘ex’ girlfriend and his mother…  and I have just looked back at my email, YES.. there it is in black in white me reporting to his mother…

years went past and the next time I talked to Alex was when his dad died from alcohol-related things.. I heard about it through a friend and I reached out to him.  He took my call and I said I missed his friendship and he said, Thank you so much for your call I miss you too.  But I can’t let you in like I used to.

I remember it hurt to have him say that…. I think we talked once more after that and then a few years later I think wrote him an email or a facebook message he replied but then he cut me, not just cut me but blocked me from social media.

I was trying to apply TV show logic to a real-world problem and tried to have it play out.   But it didn’t instead I lost an important friendship.

I miss him… Like really miss him.. I loved him..  it hurts

I wonder does he miss my friendship too?    Does anyone who I have playout my Beverley hills 90210 TV logic miss me as I miss them?