Twice?

Love.

Earth shattering, mind breaking, you can never recover from the loss kind of love?

Soul mate, Twin Flame, LOML love? The kind that leaves you buzzing? The kind that your well being hinges upon? The kind that fills you with so many dreams that you are Wendy flying into neverland never growing old or tired from your Peter? Interconnectedness, stars, galaxies, universes of souls yet yours are the ones who collide? Puzzle pieces but only 2 because thats all you need for survival. Like they are the very breath in your lungs. Fresh 02. Your entire fucking ecosystem. Your forest, your garden, your sky and water,. all in a single body.  Have you ever been encapsulated by a human? Their pain becomes your pain. Their laughter- yours. Their joys- yours. Their achievements- yours to wear proudly? Ever loved someone so much that even their darkest corners couldn’t scare you? A flashlight will do just fine. Their mistakes are our mistakes. Their failures.. our failures. The passage of time couldn’t dare touch this love. No other lovers in between either.. Its like a magnetic pull from the gods themselves..

Has someone ever touched you so gently, you forgot your name? Their lips pressed against your skin feels like a lingering tattoo.. there marked forever? Their body fits your in every aspect. Hands, little spoon, big spoon. The scope of their neck a home to bury yourself in. The breath from their lips sweet and familiar at all times.

Their mind a fuckin light show- you’re always wanting to be in attendance too. Their intelligence dripping on every word. Their sense of humor matching yours and laughing until we cry isn’t an anomaly. Their presence being.. the only time you feel okay? Their silence being the most painful thing thought to exist on earth.. right next to losing them?

me too

 

 

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July 21, 2022

Wow. Beautiful. I am sorry that you lost this.

I am now 40. At about your age, I might have described what I had with my, now ex, husband, as something like that. And it hit me like a ton of bricks reading this, I have no idea when we lost it. But I was not nearly as devastated at the end losing my marriage, as I would have been if I had lost him 14 years ago. 14 years ago, I would have written something like this. Today, I am celebrating what’s ahead.

I am healed/healing. And I am moving on. And I am learning to love again. And I think….I know, it’s possible to find something better than what you had. Even after feeling like life will never be the same.

You may never find the same. But, from experience, if you are open to it, I think you can find better.

July 22, 2022

@ryanne I appreciate the time you took to share your story with me. I am so glad my writing made you feel something! That is a goal with every piece of mine. Cheers to your healing and may the universe always reward you. <3

July 22, 2022

I haven’t related to anything so much in a long time. I feel that you will definitely find that again! For years I was filled with a fear of it never happening again and could not even imagine it might be even more infinitely beautiful than the first time! When you experience things like that it is like, perfection, and it can be hard to imagine anything even matching it never mind giving you feelings you have still yet to imagine are even possible. One of the hardest things for me was working through the pain of the fear that it might never happen again and the pain of maybe losing again but when I get past that and reach out in longing for the beloved… I really think the universe responds with magic.

July 22, 2022

@willowoceanseed I love the way this was penned. Beautifully even. The universe is pretty damn cool and I am glad to see someone else believes in it too.