Another Year

I didn’t write in December. I think maybe I didn’t have anything to write about. I was sad I didn’t get to go home to see my family or friend. I mean friends, but really I only want to see one person because she doesn’t annoy me when everyone else really does.

Teaching is a draining thing. Online, you have no idea who kids are. They just ask the same questions over and over again because they’re not listening to you. Do you know how annoying it is to not be heard every day of your life? That you say the same words over and over again and no one listens.

Soul sucking.

In three months I may be moving to Oregon and I really don’t know how to deal with that. While I want to be there right now, the thought of moving up my last five years of things and life is daunting. Making Atlas upset by moving his toys and his bed and everything makes me very sad. I don’t want to stay here. I hate Idaho. I really do. I don’t care about the people. I don’t care about the state. I miss Oregon. I miss being closer to family if I wanted to see them. I want to see my friend.

I want the world to go back to normal. I want to move my house with me and not leave it. Although I hate Idaho, I love my house. Not its location near barking dogs, insane Trump supports and hoarders…but just the insides. I won’t be sad to leave this place and hopefully Atlas will never remember the move. But he grew up here. His first steps, his first everything…he might be the only one born in Idaho in the family. I hope he finds that interesting and unique, not isolating.

I mean if he grew up in my family, my family would make sure he felt isolated…since that was their favorite thing to do. Well mostly my dad and sister…like my sister would always say she wished her sister was a little girl I went to daycare with named Hannah. And she said I was an accident. I was literally like 5 when she would say this shit. But I digress. I hope Vera and Atlas are nice to each other.