Thanks.

I sometimes don’t act grateful or thankful. I lean more towards complaining and I know that’s not the best.

This holiday isn’t that great. I’ve spent it alone once due to my husband working and that was lonely. No one in Idaho invited me over or even checked on me and being an introvert that’s really okay, but being an enneagram 6, I do like to belong.

Today Dustin is supposed to be working, but got this day off a long time ago.

I was supposed to be with family today. In Oregon. My family is all kinds of awkward right now. My mom asked if I was mad at her and I don’t know. I’m mad at the entire situation where we didn’t really get a say in the matter of them cancelling everything once my sister decided to call them and say all the scary things like Dustin’s family not taking the virus as seriously as them and I know for a fact I couldn’t have gone to GP to just see Dustin’s side without some major blow up. So, overall incredibly unfair on my family’s part, but they’re sort of whatever. I’ve got a lot to unpack about my “family” who I don’t consider being close to anymore.

I’m thankful for the family we have created. For the few people I still have in Oregon that matter to me and treat me in a way that makes me feel valued. For the people that are not my family but care and ask about my life more than my own family does.

I’m thankful that we were able to get a new oven two days before Thanksgiving when it decided to stop working.

I’m thankful that I will get to parent a boy and in May, a girl.

I’m thankful that I don’t have to go to a school during COVID since I absolutely have zero trust in my district or state to handle it in a way that stops the spread and makes people accountable for their actions toward one another.

I’m thankful that I am a person who doesn’t need a lot of people in my life to survive or it would be very hard to make it through all of the things right now.

There’s more, but that’s all.