Recent Entries

• I don’t want to be you

  March 30, 2019

  I went to a dinner at one of the fire stations Dustin works at and there were two wives there. They pushed out like seven kids between them. They're 40 something and very mom...like. Aside from the comment that I'm so small that they thought I was 20 weeks, not 9 months, there was another…

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• Suddenly I see you.

  March 5, 2019

  Yesterday I saw my kid's face. Not just in the creepy 2D whatever they show you of their profile. But I saw his nose and face in 3 dimensions. And it's my nose and it was a lot of amazing and things I didn't realize I had feelings about and you really don't know anything…

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• No Alarms & No Surprises. Please.

  February 28, 2019

  I realize that I am a worrier and I really do my best not to worry about things. Health wise, I hardly have abnormalities. I've never been to a doctor's office more than this year. The amount of trips I've made are for my health, I guess, but mostly my unborn child. And really the…

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• Rage

  February 19, 2019

  I'm having lots of anger lately. I think it's misplaced and hormonal. But I take anger over my usual depressed feelings, that I have not had for like...seven months. There's like five things I like about pregnancy and having been mostly stable in the emotional category has been super. I dislike D...

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• This is a lot

  January 18, 2019

  It's such a weird phenomenon you experience with people giving you unsolicited information and commenting on your body and asking how you feel every day. Example: My substitute before our field trip told me that students told her I was pregnant and that I don't look six months pregnant. Ok. Then ...

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• Christmas

  December 25, 2018

  It was odd getting presents for a person I have never met. I didn’t get much for me personally and I’m okay with it. It just felt odd. It just felt not like Christmas, opening tiny clothing for someone else. Which is still odd to me at 23 weeks of a person living in my…

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• What’s in a name?

  December 12, 2018

  I never asked to be named my name. In fact, I think it's sort of odd. But because of that, I grew up feeling unique. That made me different from other people. One thing I couldn't shake, although wanting to be unique, is other people's opinions. I don't like to be judged or I don't…

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• Decisions.

  December 5, 2018

  I am pretty good at decision making. As long as I can remember, I've never had a super tough time decision making. I suppose maybe in high school when I dated a guy where I liked his brain and not his face, but I picked him over my date at the winter formal, which felt…

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• A Few Words.

  October 25, 2018

  Sometimes it's really weird that I have to make decisions due to a person who is living in my body. At 14 weeks, almost 100 days of this, I am finally starting to deal with my pants not really wanting to fit like they used to fit, which is annoying. I don't care about body…

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