All I’m Asking for is a Little Décor

Remember how in the old days we decorated the front page of our diaries like the inside of our high-school locker? All those awkwardly self-conscious blurbs about our deep inner lives, decorated with terrible HTML, tacky fonts, and poignant quotes superimposed over abstract versions of selfies before we knew what selfies were? No? So maybe that was just me. But I miss that page.

I think I might pay the fee to stick around (which I’m not begrudging—$3.99 isn’t much to ask to keep the site running). Although as much as I’d like to believe I’ll suddenly become prolific, it’s far more likely my writing pace will be about as steady as it was in 2012 when I posted, what, 5 posts? I’m too lazy to go look, but that sounds right. So if I write 5 posts over 12 months at $3.99 a month that means every post better contain…hold on, I’m mathing…about $10 worth of witty observations, dramatic confrontations, profound insights and overall HBO-worthy entertainment.

Am I up to that? Probably. Maybe. But I think I need a selfie-covered, sparkly, rainbow-font-sprinkled cover page to be sure.