A baby, maybe, and an anniversary

I am trying to get back into the habit of OD and I am failing pretty miserably so far. Haha!

Life is really good. I am finally happy, not pretend or facebook happy, but really happy. It is a wonderful feeling.

Something Michael and I want together is a baby. I know it sounds insane with how hard it all was after Jude was born, but I have a partner now. A man who WANTS to have a child with me. Clayton never really wanted the kids, don’t get me wrong, he loves them and he is glad we had them, but at the time he did not want them. I spent the majority of my pregnancies feeling very alone and scared knowing I was going to be raising them alone even when I was married. To make it a little complicated Michael had a vasectomy 4 years ago. We have been saving for the reversal and we are finally ready to schedule. We are both so very excited. It may be hard for us to conceive but in my heart and my gut I know it is going to happen.

Last monday marked 13 years that mom has been gone. It is pretty surreal. I miss her. It is of course much easier now than it was 13 years ago, but there are days it knocks the wind out of me. Michael lost his dad when he was young, and having a husband who has lost a parent is nice because he gets it when I have a hard day. I wonder what life would be like with her here. I know it would look much different than it does now.

I currently work at a preschool and I absolutely love my job. My bosses approached me several weeks ago encouraging me to apply for a director position at another school. I went ahead and did it, although I am scared shitless about it. LOL!