Ok, you said you wanted every angry entry, to know why every tear was shed, why every idea was dismissed or acted on, what wounds I carry and who I cannot forgive.
The most sacred of all the things you will become privy to are my hopes and my fears.
If you run away from me after all the ugly truths, then my own words have betrayed me and nothing or noone else.
If I drive you away from me, I will still have children and family but I will be left with nothing…because I will have nobody to go to when I need to be loved. Without you, life is all give and no take for me. I give and don’t take from most people. YOU are the only person I can take from. It is the water from YOUR well that gives me life.
All of that is romanticized.
The truth is this. I can lay it bare.
I don’t want our love to die. I don’t want our love to become something that doesn’t give YOU life.
I don’t want to lose the bond, the romance, the intimacy, the sexy way you make me feel, the comfort of your arms and your words, your smell, your taste, the sound of your voice when my eyes are closed and the spell it invokes when they are open and fixed on your face.
And you would stand to lose someone that sees only the good in you, someone who sees you in the light you deserve, as a lover and a hero to the unfortunate. You would stand to lose the person in whose life you have made the greatest impact and where the purest of love and attention would be bestowed upon you by a selfless person who will never see your face as anything other than handsome. You would stand to lose the reciprocal care of the woman whom your love wholly changed.
Here’s what I think…
You’d be more likely to LOSE your way long before you’d RUN away.
But if you do, I’m gonna skip all the emotional bullshit and go straight for your weak spot.
Black Boots, bound titties and a butt plug…that will lure you back home.