Laughter is a girl’s best friend

I think I’m done answering Vickie’s messages.

 

There is nothing more to say.

 

I’m just a pawn that gets used in their arguments and Roger uses my angry emails to appease her and prove he isn’t cheating.

 

And that takes the heat off him and puts it on me.

 

All that leads to is a reopening of the wound for me… she gets some form of sick validation that her man only wants her and I get to tiptoe around this crazy woman and pray she doesn’t boil a rabbit on my back porch.

 

I’ve called her a ghetto skank so many times on paper and Roger makes sure to show her so she can get good and psychotic before she starts making them midnight calls to me.

 

I wouldn’t have written one damn email if he had faced me like a man, but he ran from me and the only way I had to express myself was to send my rage to his self titled “slut mail” address he keeps for sexual purposes.

 

How the fuck was I supposed to know someone was reading them? I sent them for years with no response so yeah, I figured it wasn’t hurting anyone.

 

And I still don’t think it hurt anyone.

 

It can’t hurt you if you don’t give a fuck about someone so I ain’t buying into any of her guilt trip stories. She just doesn’t like the fact that I sent him email in the past.  I’m telling him what a bastard I think he is and the emails were not complimentary, so I don’t know how she considers that “reaching out”.

 

Damn. I don’t consider what SHE’S doing to me to be “reaching out” but more like emotional blackmail.

 

She addresses me as “lady” and I think it kinda suits me. Donny said I can’t shit in the cologuard colonoscopy alternative cardboard box cuz I’m too much of a lady. The cologuard people keep sending me texts telling me it’s getting past the deadline for me to shit in the box and send it back for them to “anal”yze. They sent one at 3 am the other night.

 

I think I would rather hear from Vickie than them.

 

It’s kinda creepy.

 

I just want to text them back and tell them that I did it and to quit harassing me and then I’m gonna tell them to take their SHIT and go.

 

Now I’m sitting here laughing instead of working. I’m totally distracted. I won’t get SHIT done today.

 

Literally.

 

If I can’t find the humor in life…

 

I don’t want to live it.