Money can’t buy me love
I found a man that loves me as much as I loved Roger and boy does it feel good to be Roger.
A few of the things I’ve heard this week…
“You will always be enough for me.”
“Let me hold you.”
“I know you’re sick right now but damn you are still beautiful.”
” Just lie still and let me rub your back how I know you like me to. ”
“I want to take care of you because I love you and that comes naturally.”
“Don’t move, I’ll get that for you.”
“It is a privilege to love you, listen to you, _______ you” (literally fill in the fucking blank)
“If you’re afraid to tell me ANYTHING, I failed you as a partner.”
” I don’t care if you wake me with your snoring… just like the rest of you, it’s cute. ”
” I brought you some tea. ”
” There’s my beautiful sexy girl. ”
” You’re the first thing I think of when I open my eyes in the morning. ”
J. waited a full year before he disclosed his net worth to me, and when he realized I didn’t quite grasp it, he laid out proof and I almost fainted.
I asked him why he didn’t tell me he was wealthy and this is what he said…
“I wanted to make sure you loved me for the right reason.”
The reasons I love him are endless and I don’t care if he has 18 dollars or 18 million. I love him because I never have to wonder what he’s doing, because I always have his full attention, because he tries his hardest to please me, because his actions match his words, because he passes every test, because he is the first man to ever hold me and look me in the eyes and make love to me…(right before he pushes my knees up over my head and bangs the living hell out of me until I cry for mercy… or beg for more… whichever comes first.)
He finds it amazing that I don’t ask for anything, but I don’t need to. He IS everything. There is nothing more TO want, except to be on the back of one of his fast toys, hanging on for dear life and then letting go momentarily, knowing he would die before he ever let me fall to my own death. He is everything safe. He is my salvation.
My lover has walked through Hell to make me whole again, and in doing so, he taught me that it’s ok to be a little bit broken.
Cuz everyone knows that there’s a crack in everything.
That’s how the light gets in.