Challenging Relationships Lesson 2: The Power of Choice and Voice
-Both the soul narrative and the self-defeating story have the same “plotline”, but the self-defeating story positions you as the victim
Tool #1: The Story Lense on Life
-view your life as an unfolding story
-elements conspire to help the protagonist grow
-accept that conflict and tension are inevitables parts of the story
Tool #2: Tapping into your omniscient narrator
-write/ think about your situation in the third person
Exploring the current chapter
Writing Exercise:
-Focus on the CURRENT chapter
-Assign a title to the chapter: New Legs
-Write a chapter summary in the third person narrative (last few months, at least 8-10 sentences):
In this chapter, Kate realizes the depth of her enmeshment. She comes to terms with how deeply she’s been seeking to hole-fill with validation and feel secure. Kate’s grappling with feeling free in detachment, letting go of jealousy, letting go of cling, letting go of what doesn’t serve her. Her relationship with Drew had reached a place of immobility. She asked for space from him. She walked out the next morning, not know if she would ever be his partner again. In her space, she survived. She hurt and felt raw, but she felt fucking new! In her silence, the bullshit fell away and she could see the months of trying and loving and committing and promising and hope and joy that had been there. She reached out to Drew and immediately was raptly free next to him. She has embraced an open-relationship lifestyle. Not only does it not feel new, it feels free. She’s not a complete master, but dude, she’s doing so great. She’s really powerful and really forceful. Kate can really separate herself from what she is feeling and understand that that is not necessarily the reality of what is happening. She still feels overwhelmed. Kate has chosen to align her life with Drew in an open relationship lifestyle, but for Kate, it is not nearly as much about other people as it is about learning about herself and sharing those new details with her partner. Kate believes in the solidity of her foundational relationship. It’s already been tried and twisted and struggled. The thing is, really, Kate’s ok. She likes Drew and she likes sharing the world with him, but she’s a force of peace and love on her fucking own too.