Stupid Marriage!

God, why did i get married.. seirously?  what the hell was i thinking…. oh wait i wasnt!  Everyone who has known me for a long time said that i was the one out of all our friends they thought would never get married.    he pisses me off so bad .  everything with him has to be excused..    Why cant he work day shit…. because he doesnt like the people on day shift.. he cant get along.. so yet we suffer as a family because he sleeps all f*n day.   Why cant he give up playing stupid ass warcraft… oh because i get on facebook.  why cant he clean up and help me..   everything has an excuse im so tired of it.. he is so damn vengeful.   god forbid u do something to him hes gotta come back twice as hard. he wont do anything with the kids.   his own mother said the other day she sure wished she coudl get him motivated and stop being so lazy.

i dont even love him anymore, i dont have sex wit him… blantenly i just dont want to be with him.   if i thought i could actualy afford living by my self i would.  but i cant work  all weekend and go to school all week and manage a car payment and apartment payment and put food in the house for my kids.  if my parents didnt live in shit hole orlando.. i would probaly live with them… but i hate florida thats why i left…… lets all try to figure out why it takes 2 hrs to drive 15miles in orlando.. 

i really wish i never met him. everything bad that could ever happen has happened the moment he was in my life.  i dunno im just sick of him not being able to accept any responsiblity for the crap he does.   liek i said theres always reasoning behind his wrongs… he can make up an excuse for it and it has purpose.

i feel like im gonna loose my damn mind.  im so close to quiting my job so that i will actualy have time to keep up with the kids and the house   here i am at 1am.. trying to do laundry and i have to be up at 6am to get the kids ready for school and be at work at 7am

god.. can i get a little help down here.. im not asking for a hole lot, ya know.. id just like to get by in life, not living at 100 plus stress level… if its not to much to ask..