Energizer Bunny….

That is how I felt on Tuesday night and yesterday morning….

On Tuesday night I only went to bed at like 2am…I am not sure what made me go on a cleaning spree. I woke up early yesterday morning to complete what I started, but in the end felt to exhausted to do anything beside work and do a quick shop.

Now, after seeing me do some super cleaning, it seems as though my husband felt left out and he too wanted to do some cleaning….when I left him at home while I went to the shop, I forgot that when he cleans he does that with some fuel aka Vodka. While I am at the shop, he called to tell me that he felt like smoking, which he had been going on about all morning, and so when he bought a pack of smokes he got vodka too. He went on to tell me that he didn’t want to hide his slip and felt the need to be honest to me. I respect that but I kinda feel like he says this every time just to smoothen me up, knowing that him lying about drinking was an issue and when he was honest before I let it go.

Anyway so I get home and see in the fridge a half a half drunk bottle of vodka  500ml. Throughout the night I figured I would make myself a drink of Orange Juice and  shot of vodka.

This morning when I wake up he has gone….don’t know where too but as I am working he walks in and in the packet I see another bottle of vodka. He tells me that he drank this yesterday, but left in the old car. I freak out thinking that he drove drunk yesterday, he says he didn’t just sat in the car and drank and then left the bottle in there. None of that makes sense. But either way in a period of under 24 hours he has drunk a lil under a liter of vodka (if not more).

It is the UK bank holiday so he has a very long weekend. So he has nothing to do but drink and sleep. I am so exhausted. I have been booked off work for a further few days due to my pink eye, but I am working from home.

There is so much that I want to do but don’t have time to do it all.

I want to work…but I also am too lazy to work…

I want to clean…but feel like the flat is too small for everything that  I have and for where I want to put things…

I want to see my dad…but I have pink eye and don’t want to risk him….

I want to exercise but I have pink eye so cannot go to gym…

I want to study Hebrew and Jewish Studies….but I just don’ know where to begin to study as I an surrounded by mess and just feel so out of place.

ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH!! As Will.I.Am and Britney Spears sung…